words in the fog

before i go

wait.
before i go.
just listen.
i never wanted to be this way.
i always wanted to be happy, wanted, enough.
i miss when i had happiness
before the constant feeling of loneliness and depression.
i enjoy the good times, but not enough. not the same.
I'm trying to be better i am.
no one sees.
no one sees how hard i try.
no matter what i say or do.
will i ever be enough?
the lingering question.
be enough.
the voice always says.
yet i never do. i never am.
try harder.
i tell myself.
and i do.
it's just not seen.
and then I'm back at square one.
feeling hurt and alone.