ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀɴᴅ|ᴊ.ꜰ

🀣𝟢𝟢𝟪🀣

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴇɪɢʜᴛ
↳ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅꜱ ʙʏ ᴄʜᴀɴᴄᴇ, ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀꜱ ʙʏ ᴄʜᴏɪᴄᴇ.

I grew up as an only child in Chicago, Illinois. I grew up around people who looked like me, and people who didn't. I grew up around pretty girls, and beautiful girls, and girls that would become models when they grew older. I would also grow up hating the letter S.
People would always talk about their parent(s), and their sibling(s), and their friend(s). But I only had one parent, no siblings, and one friend --- one best friend. Isabel 'Belly' Conklin, or Bellybutton to Jeremiah Fisher. That's where I fell short when it came to the bond the Fisher's and Conklin's had. Belly had two parents and a brother, even with her parents now being divorced.
Jeremiah and Conrad had each other and their two parents, even if Susannah would be gone soon and their dad was nowhere to be found. And even with all that said, they still had each other. Growing up, even before Ailani started drinking heavily and dad contracted B. Cepecia, it was me and my dad against the world.
Kainalu Mahina was a man that lived life until he couldn't anymore. He breathed as much air as he could, he let his skin soak up the sun and would smile at all times of the day.

Kainalu means 'The ocean that billows', and it was quite fitting since dad would make big, beautiful waves in everyones life. He was a man of honor, and he always stuck to his word no matter how silly it was. He raised me and he did it all on his own.
I hate the letter S because I didn't have parent's, I had a parent. One. Singular. And when dad died, he not only took a piece of me with him but he'd taken the only thing that could possibly tie me closer to having a family. But then I remembered Belly, my Belly, and how we'd grown up side by side at Cousins our entire lives.
No matter what happens between Isabel and I, she'll always be the closest thing I have to family.

--

Belly and I took a seat on her bed after she'd let me in. I hadn't been in her room the entire summer. She'd always come to mine, and we never really paid attention to the interaction. It's like there was a new distance growing between us, and neither one of us knew how to close it or why it was forming in the first place. And maybe we were just growing up. Dad used to tell me that you either grow with people, or you outgrow them.
"I heard you and Jeremiah last night and before you say anything... I'm not mad at you. I'm more mad at myself for playing into some silly little crush instead of cherishing this summer like we always do," I started, "A lot of things have been put into perspective for me lately and... I just need you to know that I love you more than anything, Belle's. And I can't lose you, not in a million years-"
Belly cut me off by wrapping her arms around me. It was tight and slightly suffocating but I didn't care. Because I was hugging her, Isabel Conklin, my Isabel. "I love you, too, Nani." When she pulled away she'd outreached her pinky towards me. I linked mine with hers. "Friends by chance, sisters by choice," we chorused.
And while Belly and I were back to normal, I couldn't say the same about Jeremiah and I. We didn't dare to look each others way later on. Conrad was on the grill while everyone hung around, Belly and I laying on our towels and the moms reading magazines and drinking white wine.

I couldn't help but stare at Susannah and admire her. She'd kept it a secret this whole time just so we could have a great summer. You couldn't even tell that she was sick, her skin was radiant and glowing, for christ sake. But it had all made sense now that I knew. Every time her and Laurel went out, it wasn't to go shopping or to hang out in town. They were going to doctor appointments and constantly getting bad news.
All those nights that Susannah went to bed early, the nights we'd smelled pot coming from her room. Everything was pricing together into a horrifying reality: We're going to lose Susannah.
She'd caught me staring at her and smiled at me. "Come here." When I was younger, Susannah would prop me up on her lap and I'd rest my head on her shoulder. She mostly did it on the days when I was sick or was sad. And she'd done it just now because she knew that I knew. I'd sat down and rested my head on her shoulder and she squeezed me tight.
"I love you," I whispered. "I love you too, bean." Susannah called me bean when I was little. Not because I was super small for age or anything like that. I was the size of a bean when her, mom, and Laurel had found out mom was pregnant with me. They'd told dad later that day with a pregnancy test in a box.
Kinda cliche if you ask me but it was sweet when she'd told me about it. "I'm not ready to lose you," I said. "I know." We didn't say anything after that. She'd hug me tighter and vise versa and I wouldn't let go until Con told us dinner was ready.