ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀɴᴅ|ᴊ.ꜰ

🀣𝟢𝟤𝟣🀣

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴡᴇɴᴛʏ-ᴏɴᴇ
↳ᴍᴇᴅɪᴄɪɴᴇ.

   Your view on life and how you're living it kind of changes when you've lost a lot of people. I mean, it changed after I lost my dad and Susannah, and even when I'd finally let go of the core four, aka my Cousins Beach group. And when Mateo shipped out... It'd changed my views on life once more. Thing's didn't really feel real for a while, not even the crowds I was performing in front of.
   When I finally got some time off, I spent most of it in bed. I just couldn't bring myself to get out of it. I'd waited weeks for an email or a letter or even a phone call from him but they never came, and he never answered any of mine. I'd been talking to what felt like a ghost, and I was forcing myself to believe that he was still out there fighting. That's the only thing that get's me through the day at this point.
   I was talking to mom over FaceTime for the billionth time today, she was taking a trip to Hawaii to visit her side of the family. "You need to get out of bed and do something, even if it's just a walk around the block or going to the store for some actual food."
    I huffed. "Doritos and salt and vinegar chips are real food, mom. They fill me up the same chicken Alfredo and Poke do." Mom was going through her closet for an outfit. She was going out with my aunts and uncles tonight. "If you want, I can ask Eli's mom to go over-"
   "No, defiantly not. If Eli finds out that I haven't been working on music like I said I was, I'm dead. He's already been on me about coming in late to the studio."

   "Okay well-"
   Suddenly, another FaceTime starting coming through and it made my heart beat out of my chest. It was him. "Mom I've gotta go, I love you, I'll talk to you later!" I'd scurry around trying to clean the room up as the call contacted.  "Uh, Nani?" I'd popped my head into view, a pile of clothes dangling from my hands, "Hi?"
   "What're you doing?" He asked. I'd stumbled over my words to try and find something that sounded even remotely sane. But I couldn't find anything. "Cleaning our depression room, I uh- I kind of trashed it without even realizing it." I'd sat the clothes down, setting my phone up in front of the piano and taking a seat. "How's everything on the field? You're being safe, right?"
   Theo and the men behind him grew quiet. I hadn't realized that they'd all been watching me this entire time. "Something happened today and I was hoping you had a song finished or something, something to lift our spirits..."
   I didn't ask what happened, I didn't wanna make it worse. It didn't stop my curiosity though, and my fears from clouding my head. What if it's something really bad? A situation where it could've been Theo instead of someone else?
   "Yeah, I finished one last night after getting screamed at by my manager... Just let me set up the keyboard really quick."

   I'd tune it and set my journal up for the lyrics. They all seemed so out of it, and I couldn't help but feel bad for them.

   My fingers softly pressed against the chords for the songs, the melody booming out of it. But then my brain forced my hands to stop and I didn't realize what I was doing until I'd felt my fingers strumming against those oh so familiar guitar strings.
   This was my style. Singing in front of the people I care about and playing the guitar dad got me when I was twelve.

   'I wanna be alone
   Alone with you, does that make
   sense?
   I wanna steal your soul
   And hide you in my treasure chest

   I don't know what to do
   To do with your kiss on my neck
   I don't know what feels true
   But this feels right so stay a sec
   Yeah, you feel right so stay a sec