ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀɴᴅ|ᴊ.ꜰ

🀣𝟢𝟣𝟢🀣

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴛᴇɴ
↳ᴄʟᴏꜱɪɴɢ ɪɴ...

   Cousins. I always loved Cousins beach. It's where every favorite memory of my childhood was made. Like the time Susannah had gotten me and belly new charms for our matching bracelets, or when Jeremiah got sunburned so bad that he couldn't sleep on his back for a week. I'd made fun of him the entire time but I'd end up making sure he put sunscreen on everyday since.

   But it was the boys who made summer summer. Steven, Jeremiah, and Conrad.
   Conrad, Jeremiah, and Steven.

   It was always us, always the same kids and the same two moms. It never changed. Cousins was the one place on earth that would always stay the same. And it's my favorite place to visit, every year, from June to August.
   But Cousins Beach had changed. The water wasn't as salty, the sun didn't shine as bright, and the beach house was so longer a safe space for me. Maybe it was because we were growing up and growing apart, or maybe it was because it was cursed. But whatever it was, it had struck down on the place I'd once called home and turned it into a house I'd never want to return to.
   Belly was different in so many ways, good and bad. But she was still Isabel Conklin — still my best friend. Conrad was a lot angrier, and a lot more quiet. And Jeremiah... Jeremiah was no longer the Jeremiah Fisher I'd had a crush on since I was four. He was just Jeremiah Fisher, son of Susannah Fisher, and brother of Conrad Fisher.

   When the last day of summer came, and the secrets had been spilled, and everything was falling apart, I'd sat at the edge of the pool with my feet in. It was cold and a little windy but I didn't care. The coldness of the water was the only thing keeping me grounded right now. I'd be leaving Cousins Beach on a horrible note with no idea of if I'd return or not.
   Susannah is sick again, Conrad and Belly weren't a thing even after they'd kissed on the beach, and Jeremiah and I hadn't spoken since his and Conrad's fight. We hadn't even spoken prior to the fight. I'd had a lot of heart breaks, ones that I'll carry with me forever and others I'll forget about as time passes but nothing like this.
   I'd heard the click of the sliding doors and felt a body sit next to me but I didn't have the courage to look at them. I knew who it was, and I didn't want to acknowledge their presence. So we sat there in silence as thoughts overtook our brains but neither of us ever dared to speak to one another.
   This was how we'd be ending our summer. Silence. It was so deafening that you could hear it from miles away. I'd rest my head on his shoulder and he'd rest his head on top of mine. And we'd sit there for the very last time, taking in everything that's happened from the months of June to August.

🀣

   As the days closed in and summer was coming to an end, things were off. Today was clean up day. That's when we'd put everything away and clean up by Laurel's request, even if we knew Susannah had cleaners come in after we'd all left. But Laurel didn't know that, and she wasn't supposed to know it, either. A lot of us weren't supposed to know a lot of things this summer, and yet we do. We learned truths and uncovered secrets and saw through lies.
   This summer was nothing like the summers before. It no longer felt like Cousins Beach, our home --- my home. Cousins was now filled with grief and dishonesty and all these others things that I just can't bring myself to get used to. I don't want to get used to the new Cousins. I want Cousins to stay the same forever. 
   Cousins was supposed to stay the same forever. 
   I was sitting by the pool again, just like many nights before. Sitting by the pool was a reminder of what once was. I'd been out there for a while now, and I was alone until Belly, Conrad, and Jeremiah had all come out and gotten in. I didn't exist to them in that moment because they'd confided themselves to their own little bubble.
   I watched as Conrad brushed Belly's wet strands off of her face and tucked them behind her ear. And I'd remind myself of the fact that it was always Conrad. 

   I broke my gaze from them when I'd felt a certain blue eyed blondie staring at me. And I'd met his, our attention glued to each other the same way we'd been glued together; bonded at the hip and inseparable for many weeks and many months and years. And I found it so strange how things like that could just change over night and never be the same again.
   It was like dad used to stay. You either grow together, or you outgrow each other. And I think Jeremiah and I are outgrowing each other, rather than growing together like we'd planned. I didn't wanna sit by the pool anymore but it was like my butt was glued to the ground beneath it. I couldn't bring myself to move, not when he was moving towards me. 
   Jeremiah swam over, standing between my legs. And I hadn't dared to move a muscle. "It's gone," He said. My brows furrowed. "What's gone?" I asked. "That little light I saw when we first got here."
   Jere reached up and brushed pieces of my own hair behind my ear. Just like he'd always done, before everything started changing and everyone started drifting. "I um... I did get you something. I just, I don't know. Being around you and seeing the way you look at me hurts a lot." 
   "How do I look at you?" I whispered. "Like I'm the best and worst thing to ever happen to you."

   He had this way of pulling me back to him, even when I didn't wanna go. I'd leaned down and closed the small gap that was between us. And during those few seconds, I imaged everything piecing itself back together and us going back in time. I imagined this all being one big terrifying dream. 
   I watched it all go back. Susannah wasn't actually sick, and Conrad was happy, Belly and I swam together all summer and Jeremiah and I were still two peas in a pod. But when we'd pulled away, that dream had disappeared and I connected with reality once more. I got up, and I went through the sliding back doors, and I didn't look back to Jeremiah because doing so would hurt too much.
   I climbed the creaky stairs, and I walked past the pictures hung up in the hallway, and I did those things for the very last time. I'd enter my room for the very last time. On my bed was a small box, and a piece of paper next to it. He really did get me something. I walked over and picked both things up, the paper reading, "Everything comes to an end, I'm just hoping that doesn't include us, too." 
   I just felt like crying when I'd seen that small Slytherin pin inside of the box. He was retiring it --- giving it back to me with the intention of letting me go, and of letting us go. 

   Word Count: 1,260.