ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀɴᴅ|ᴊ.ꜰ

🀣𝟢𝟣𝟣🀣

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ᴇʟᴇᴠᴇɴ
↳ᴄᴏᴜꜱɪɴꜱ ʙᴇᴀᴄʜ.

The sun beamed down on me as I packed my things into my trunk. I'd usually do this with the help of my peers but I was up early. I planned on leaving before anyone else was up, it would make the entire process easier. And that car ride back would be silent. No Jeremiah on the other line to keep me company as I drove out of Cousins and back to Chicago.
Just as I went to close the trunk and get in the front seat, the blue-eyed boy had run out of the house, yelling for me to wait. "Nani, wait!" He shouted. He was already out of breath and his lungs were begging him for air he wouldn't be able to deliver. "I've gotta get on the road, Jeremiah," I said.
I almost never called him by his full name. I only did so when we were little and knew close to nothing about each other. And I guess we were back to that stage now, because it felt like I knew absolutely nothing about the boy in front of me. I'd always known he felt a way for Belly, but part of me, the stupidest part of me, was just hoping it would melt away and his focus would be on me.
He nodded. "Stay, just stay until Belly and Laurel leave and then you never have to talk to me again but you can't just go at the crack of dawn and expect them to not feel a way about it," He said. And I knew he was right. I shouldn't leave a note for them and leave and expect them to not be angry with me. But at the moment, I couldn't bring myself to care. "I'll see you next summer."

Jeremiah stopped me as I went to reach for the driver's door. "Please, Nani. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. Just stay a little longer, please." His begging and pleading would've gotten to me on any other day but again, I couldn't bring myself to care. It's like all emotion had been drained out of me in the last few days of this summer. "I can't, I need to go."
   "I love you." I'd let my hand slip from the door. "You don't mean that."
He shook head. "I do, I love you, Zara. I love you more than anything in this world and I'm sorry that it took me so long to realize it." One part of me was screaming to shut me up, but the other wanted to keep listening. The internal conflict was becoming too much for me because I'd been having it since the day I'd gotten here.

"It's too little, too late," I said. "No matter what you or anyone else says, it's not gonna make up for what you did, Jere. And I refuse to be the girl you settle for just because you can't have Belly."
   I'd gotten in that car, and I'd driven away without looking at him again.
And that's it. You wanted more. I did too for a while, and I'd love to tell you we saw each other the next summer but we didn't even keep in contact. All we had was that summer and the memories we'd made during the ones before it.

-ᴏᴄᴛᴏʙᴇʀ-

Time flies by when you're stuck picking out colleges and trying to figure out what you wanna do with the rest of your life. Mom had convinced me to do early admissions. I was getting ready to go out with my friends when my phone started ringing. But it was nowhere in sight. "Mom, have you seen my phone?" I called out. "Down here!"
She was at the bottom of the steps holding it out to me. "It's him," She said. And I knew exactly who she'd meant by him. I went back up to my room and closed the door before answering it. I was hesitant, but I knew it was something I needed to do.
"I didn't think you'd answer," he said, "You haven't answered any of my other calls."
I sighed. "I know, I've been busy with school." And the line was awkwardly silent for a while after that. "I wanted to know how you've been... Check up on you and stuff." But I knew that wasn't his only reason for calling. I'd had hundreds of voicemails and missed calls and missed messages from one boy over the span of two months.
"What do you really want, jere?" I questioned. "I'm outside... You don't have to get in the car, but I just wanted to see you in case I never get to again." Then the line went silent before he'd hang up. I sighed. I hadn't seen him so long, so long that it'd felt like forever. And I hadn't expected myself to actually answer one of his many calls after the way we'd left things between us.