ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ ʙʏ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴀɴᴅ|ᴊ.ꜰ

🀣𝟢𝟣𝟦🀣

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏᴜʀᴛᴇᴇɴ
↳ɪɴ ʟᴏᴠɪɴɢ ᴍᴇᴍᴏʀʏ.

*The setting for this particular part in the book(It's Not Summer Without You-Jenny Hann) has been changed to fit the plot of my story.

   The first and only funeral I had ever been to was my dads. That experience was hard enough alone, even without everyone telling me they were sorry for my loss and trying to tell me stories about my dad from before I was born. Loss is hard, especially when it's your parent.
   I didn't think Susannah being gone would effect me the same way, but it hurt even worse than dad being gone because Susannah was like a mother to me. She was my mother when my real one wouldn't step up to the plate and be there to raise me. So when I had to attend the funeral, It kind of felt like dad all over again.
   Only with Susannah, her death wasn't expected so soon. We knew dad had little time left, we just hoped he had more.

---

   Cousins Beach was no longer the place I'd remembered it to be. The drive up was long and silent, I didn't bother was music or packing snacks or even stopping at the gas station a few miles away from the welcome sign. I just stuck through the ride and tried to convince myself that everything would be okay.
   I still wasn't used to dresses yet so I opted for a skirt. It was one Susannah bought me, of course. Another plaid one, but it was grey and black and it didn't have pockets in the front. I was wearing a black tank top and the leather jacket I brought during the winter. Mom convinced me to get it, said some friends of her's would like it. I didn't know who she was talking about at the time, and I still don't know.
   I was wearing my old black converse that I didn't even know I still had. They somehow still fit me, too. Belly, Jeremiah, and I had all signed our names on them when I'd gotten them. And then Conrad convinced me that he just had to be on them, too.
   Driving past the 'Welcome to Cousins Beach' sign and pulling up that sand dusted driveway made my stomach twist and turn but in all the worst ways. There were so many cars that my usual spot was already filled. They'd parked in my spot.
   I brushed it off though and unbuckled, got out of the car, and started walking up. I had snuffles with me, of course. I had to bring him, I knew one of the Fisher boys would need him, even if none of us were on the best of terms right now. I'd gotten there after everyone else, and I knew it would look bad because I loved — love Susannah like she was — is my actual mom.

   I'd already missed the first half of this whole ordeal, and showing up afterward is gonna make me look like a complete asshole. But I didn't care because I knew if Susannah were here and this was someone else I loved and cared about, she'd understand. She'd understand that losing another parent is driving me off the deep end and being aware of the fact that they're gone only makes things worse.
   I stepped through the front door. And there were so many people here in the beach house that it was almost unbelievable. No one paid me any mind like I thought they would. Some people said hi, and told me that they were sorry for my loss, and other's tried to hug me but I'd put space between me and them. I didn't really like hugs, and the only people I ever really hugged were Belly, Jeremiah, and Conrad.
   I walked over to Laurel. "Hey..." She smiled at me, grabbing my hand in hers. "How're you feeling?" she asked. I shrugged. "Anything but okay... What about you? She was your best friend." Laurel shrugged and copied my actions. "Anything but okay." And I'd done something I'd never done before. I wrapped my arms around her so tightly that I thought she might suffocate. "I love you, Laurel. You're like my mom, just like Susannah. And I don't ever wanna lose you."
   She rubbed circles on my back. "I know... But I can't make any promises."