just for us | one-shots

After parties part 8

I should wait. I should wait. I should wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. WAIT!

My consience was screaming for me to take things slow, but as soon as she turned to me after closing the door to her appartment looking at me like she had already taken my clothes off, all of that went to hell. We collapsed our bodies and our lips together not even waiting to get to the couch. Her hands grasped me to tight I could feel her fingers through my thick coat. Without parting the kiss, as if she red my mind, we both started to take eachothers coats and as I was about to throw hers somewhere she stopped to quickly put them on the rack, of course she wouldn't leave our clothes randomly. I sighed with the frustration of not having her body close to mine, but she came back even more eager for me and wrapped her arm around my waist as the other held my neck and my jaw strongly as we kissed again.

We stumbled around her appartment until we crashed on the couch. Correction: I stumbled on it and fell on my back pulling her with me. We laughed mid kiss and she pulled me up by my hips.

"Not here." She said and started to conduct me to her bedroom. She was kissing me and running her hands firmly through my body while I did the same and with each hair pull she did, I scratched her back and she moaned with pleasure from the pain it caused. When we reached her bedroom she opened the door and the lights were already dim and cozy, there was music playing. She noticed I kind of stopped to notice all that. "I did that while we were in the car." She smirked and kissed me with even more desire. Kissing my lips, my cheeks, my neck... All while pulling down the straps of my top. But without the itoxication her lips cause on mine, my mind started to panic a little with the thoughts of all the hurt and all the things that went wrong just because I gave into her, into this feeling of desperatly wanting more of her, wanting her closer, wanting to feel her more connected to me.

"Wait, wait wait." I pushed her away lightly, just enough to make her stop. I needed her to convince me to stop, because I wasn't exactly ready to push her away further, I still longed for her.

"What's wrong? Did I do something? Are you okay?" She said with rapid concern.

"No, no! It's fine. I just..." I sighed. "We should be taking things slow, Nina." I couldn't look her in the eyes. "You were the one saying you didn't want to jump back on anything, don't you think we should wait a little? I mean, tonight was so good, don't you think we should just be fine with that?" I managed to lookat her to find a very confused Nina as we both were still panting. My head was a chaotic mess of fear and desire. I looked at her with a look that I'm conviced translated all that. She was looking at me with what seemed to be a misture of sadness as desperation, but then she looked down at her hip and we both noticed I was unconsciously squeezing her skin tightly as if I didn't want to let go of her, clinging to every bit of her I could. My eyes widened as I realised that and I looked at her seeing that she knew what I was doing and as soon as she looked at me it was like she knew why I was doing it too. Her eyes instantly changed into a mixture of  determination and conscience os the power she held over me.

"No" She suddenly said and wrapped her hand around my neck tight making me gasp. "I don't." She said looking at my surprised face defiantly and then pushed me to bed making me crash against the matress. She climbed quickly on top of me and stopped facing me. "Stop running away from me, I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here because I love you, woman." She held one of my hands and squeezed it trying to pass me the confidence I needed. "Trust me, I'm here to stay this time, I wouldn't have come back just to hurt you again."

Even if she did, you know you would let her.

I held her face with my other hand and she rested her face on it closing her eyes for a bit. She then looked at me and kissed my hand and then got closer to kiss me.