Not good for you

20;

In the following weeks, almost every day was the same. I got up, had a girl chat with either Emilia or Leigh while having breakfast, went to work, and spent much time being disgusted by people or bonding with Marina or Perkyn. Then, I went home and had a movie night.

Perkyn quickly became a closer friend. I appreciated his honesty and decency; he was always helpful if I needed anything. I could listen to his stories for hours during lunch breaks or on walks home after work. Perkyn always seemed to have many embarrassing or amusing memories to keep me entertained.

Whenever I mentioned Perkyn or Marina to the girls, and particularly to Casen—since Austin preferred not to hear me on and on—Seeley would cast me sidelong glances while acting busy with his phone or a book.

We hadn't spoken since our slightly drunken beach day with the girls, and his disappointment had come through his reactions. Avoiding him felt like an itch that you couldn't ignore. I wasn't angry, but I lacked the energy to deal with his mood swings at that moment.

Something—likely an invisible string—seemed to pull me toward him whenever we were in the same room. It would have been wonderful to feel his hands on me, to hear his husky voice as he slowly started losing control while my hands explored his body. I hated how attractive he still was because it made it much harder and more frustrating not to pay as much attention to him.

I wondered if he felt anything like that while we were focused on our jobs. I typically saw him in the morning if he couldn't sleep since he was working an afternoon shift at Voiceless Cobra, and I would usually be asleep by the time he got back.

I wasn't particularly avoiding him, right? Our schedules were just different, and we were free at different times throughout the day.

Our strange situation only lasted a few weeks until my birthday was around the corner in the middle of July. While I sat on the terrace on the other side of the house, facing our small garden, drinking my lemonade, I heard someone open the door and step out.

"How can you sit out here? It's at least ninety degrees." Seeley frowned and shut the door behind him.

I glanced up at him from the corner of my eye, taking a long sip of my drink.

"After a while, I don't even notice the heat anymore," I said, leaning back. "I'm just enjoying the silence."

It was true. Listening to the birds around me and hearing the ocean in the distance helped me relax, even though my muscles were sore from working. I wasn't used to being on my feet that much.

"How was your first week?" he asked, plopping down in the chair across from me.

I lowered my sunglasses and shot him a questioning look. Did he really want to talk about work now? Seeley rubbed his hands together.

"What?" he asked. "I've barely seen you for weeks. Am I not allowed to ask you about work and everything that's happened lately?"

I pushed my sunglasses up on my nose and scratched my arms.

"We usually meet in the mornings," I replied, ignoring his earlier question.

"Yes, when you rush out of the house to go to work." He narrowed his eyes at me. "And I'm always the last to come home; everyone is usually asleep by then."

"I guess our schedules just don't align, huh?" I said with a shrug, even though I couldn't help but feel his absence right beside me.

I was happy that we were at Cannon Beach now, and he had begun to get close to me again. However, our jobs got in the way, and we couldn't see each other often. A part of me was happy because I had time to think, but another part of me – a lonely and sensitive part – yearned for his presence.