Not good for you

41;

"Give me the keys," I insisted, running after him when I noticed he was heading to the car. So much for walking.

His back was turned to me as he searched his pockets for his keys. His hair was messy, and he looked like someone who hadn't slept in days. If I didn't know him so well, I'd think he could pass out any moment; he looked so torn apart.

The last hour had completely broken his heart to the point that he looked physically ill. My worry deepened as I took in the devastation and emptiness of his green eyes.

"No."

I grabbed his arm, trying to turn him around so he would face me. Once our eyes met, I tried to keep a demanding expression and held out my hand.

"Keys."

He glanced at my hand before meeting my gaze again. I didn't have much hope for his answer, but my subconscious wouldn't let me give up without trying to persuade him not to drive. It was reckless for him to get behind the wheel while fuming and with a bit of alcohol in him; it annoyed me to pretend to be a concerned girlfriend.

"Not going to happen," he stated, swinging the driver's door open.

I grabbed the door before he could close it, earning a frustrated groan from him.

"Heds, get in the car."

"You can't drive like this," I argued, trying to hide my panic. "Just tell me where you want to go and—"

"You know you won't convince me," he stubbornly cut me off. Furious that he was willing to risk his own safety, I let go of the door. Without missing a beat, he grabbed the handle and slammed it shut.

As he turned on the engine, I realized his seriousness and impatience. I dashed to the other side of the car and jumped in. A nagging feeling told me that if I pushed him too far, he might just leave me behind, which I couldn't bear. I couldn't abandon him, especially tonight; he was so unpredictable.

I put on my seatbelt while he reversed out of the parking lot with a bored expression.

I didn't want to, but my bones shook with cold fear, hoping he wouldn't crash the car. When he glanced at me, he noticed my tormented expression and laughed. But it wasn't the beautiful sound I had come to love from him. It wasn't joyful or lighthearted; it was hollow and void. I hated how emotionless and numb he could become in just seconds. Oswald ruined him, and he didn't even care about that anymore. He just wanted to be somewhere, but it didn't help him think clearly.

"It's not my first time driving drunk, Heds," he said, leaning on his elbow as the streetlights cast shadows over his cold face.

I glared at him. Even if this wasn't his first time driving like that, why was he so eager to have me in the car with him? I would never put someone's life on the line like that while intoxicated.

"Should I really feel better about that?" I snapped, my patience wearing thin. He shrugged while rubbing his jaw.

"Not exactly," he responded plainly. "I just thought you should know I won't drive into a tree." A chill ran down my spine at his emotionless tone. I realized I was starting to lose him, and the thought made me close my eyes, wishing to wake up from this nightmare. But nightmares are as real as dreams, and now Seeley represented one of my deepest fears.

Losing someone important to you, even when they are right there. Who was I fooling? I couldn't truly lose Seeley because he was never mine to hold onto.

"I'll always take care of you." He turned his gaze toward me.

"Eyes on the road," I said flatly.

He rolled his eyes but turned back to the road, likely cursing me in his mind.