Not good for you

28;

At first, I felt slightly paranoid when Marina told me about the other side of open relationships. I began searching for articles, personal experiences, and stories to understand better what I was up against – something I should have done weeks ago, but I was already deep in this hole. The more I read about couples transitioning from physical relationships to deeper connections, the more frightened I became. It dawned on me that we could become more than just friends, which was something that shouldn't happen. Seeley had a girlfriend whom he truly cared about, and our physical interactions seemed merely a way to fulfill our needs.

I just hoped that Marina was wrong about the future awaiting us. Not that it wouldn't make me feel special—I'd only have him if he ended things with Clara because there was no way I'd ever put myself through anything like that. If my feelings became deeper and more serious, I'd need to jump the ship before we got caught up in a horrific relationship drama.

I found it hard to imagine spending time with other guys while I was in a relationship. Like an unwelcome guest, jealousy would creep in whenever I thought about my partner being out with someone else. We hadn't even talked about the possibility of him falling for someone new while sharing intimate moments with them. I could sense that my heart wouldn't be able to handle that kind of situation. I was just mindlessly scrolling through my phone when I heard a gentle knock at my door.

"Come in!"

The door opened slowly, revealing Austin's head peeking through the gap with a curious smile.

"Hey, Austin," I said, putting my phone down.

"Hi, am I interrupting something? Skincare tutorial? Netflix? Porn?"

I spread my arms and glanced around the empty room. Leigh was still at work, while Emilia had gone out with Casen to the beach. Seeley was working until the evening, so it was just the two of us now in the house.

"Are you serious?"

Austin missed my sarcasm; he looked genuinely confused and shy.

"Yes, Austin," I nodded. "You're interrupting my daydream while I'm swimming in sweat."

Austin pushed the door open fully and leaned against the doorframe.

"I thought we should do something." He shrugged.

"How about a swim?" I proposed.

Austin grimaced and hissed.

"It's too hot out there; you know I can't handle the heat," he reminded me, and I nodded in agreement. "Maybe after the sun goes down."

I couldn't forget, especially since last summer, he suddenly collapsed because of the heat while we were playing volleyball one afternoon. It also baffled him, as it had never happened to him before. Well, our bodies change with time, so we can't always be sure about our condition.

"Okay, then what do you have in mind?"

Austin straightened his position and looked back to the hallway behind him.

"I was thinking that..." he began nervously. "But only if you don't mind, of course."

"Yes?" I asked, bracing myself for something awful.

"That you would let me paint you," he said, and I raised an eyebrow. I was caught off guard by his suggestion. It wasn't unusual, but I would have never expected him to ask for my permission to make a portrait of me.

"I'm flattered that you want to paint me, but I'm a terrible model."

"Oh, come on," he sighed. "Emilia and Leigh, let me paint them. You're the only one missing from the girls' group."

"Is this a larger portrait of the three of us?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes," he replied, nodding. "I'd be happy if you agreed to join the picture."

"The bad thing is that I don't have a heart," I murmured, reminiscing about our school days.

"I know you do." He gently touched my shoulder. "And I promise I won't ask anything else from you."

I paused to consider before looking up at him.

"Can I see the portrait first?" I asked, to which he shot me a glare.

"Absolutely not," he replied, dead serious.

"That's not fair," I complained, sounding like a child.

"Life is hardly ever fair," he said, crossing his arms. "Are you coming or not?"

I sighed but followed him out of the room anyway. I appreciated his desire to portray us, but my curiosity felt like a nagging itch.

When he gestured to the couch, I sat down, fixing my hair while he settled in behind his easel. He must have either prepped before asking or was just finishing the parts of the painting he had nearly completed.

We sat silently for a few minutes as he began outlining my face, examining my features with slightly parted lips as he focused intently.

"Have you thought about selling your paintings?" I asked.

He twirled the paintbrush in his fingers.

"I doubt that would be possible," he replied, and I frowned.

"Why do you feel that way?" I asked, puzzled. With a bit of courage, he could make a lot of money from showcasing his work.

"Because I'm not Da Vinci." His gaze met mine for a fleeting moment.

It took me a moment to get his reference, and I burst into an embarrassed laugh.

"Are we still in that phase?"

"In what phase?"

"You acting like a child, I mean."

He sighed and shook his head, nearly reluctantly.

"If being childish means understanding my worth and not wanting to let others make fun of my hobby, then yes. We're still there."

"I was just joking, you know that."

"You make some pretty harsh and piercing jokes, Heddy Lopez," he commented.

"I only joke like that because you matter to me."

"Are you saying I'm your emotional punching bag when nobody's around?" He joked, and I shrugged.

"Everyone has their own hobbies, right?" I replied softly. "You paint. Emilia enjoys getting on Leigh's nerves, and I just compare you to successful people to make you feel bad about yourself. But that doesn't mean you won't become a painter someday."

Austin narrowed his eyes.

"If you keep talking like that, you'll have a big nose," he warned, and I gasped in disbelief.

I could accept the mean jokes and underwater pranks, but I wouldn't allow him to tarnish my face in the portrait of the three of us.

"Don't you dare!" I shouted, and he instantly froze.

As I stepped closer to check the canvas, he placed a hand on my stomach to push me back.

"Get out of my face!"

"Just let me see it!"

"You're ruining it!"

"I want to see it! Austin!"

"Wow, you're heavier than you seem," he remarked, clearly tired. "Have you thought about doing cardio? I heard it works wonders for the body."

"Screw you! I'm not fat at all!"

"Stop it..."

"Just let me see it."

"You're such a pain in the ass!"

I wasn't sure how or when, but we ended up covered in paint during our struggle, making Austin more irritated than he was with me. Now, I was certain he would never ask me to be his muse again.