Not good for you

47;

Time stood still for a long, painful moment as I realized Leigh had been eavesdropping on us. I glanced at my best friend, who looked both crushed and defeated as she stared at us. I couldn't find my voice as a suffocating feeling engulfed me. No, no... This can't be happening.

"He..."

Leigh crossed her arms to protect herself against the cold. Many emotions clouded her expression: shock, disappointment, surprise, and betrayal. I placed a hand over my mouth, swallowing my guilt, as she shook her head, trying to make sense of everything. Seeley scratched the back of his neck, lowering his gaze.

I felt as if the world was crumbling as Leigh pointed at us with a hesitant expression.

"Did I hear that right?" she asked in a vulnerable and hurt tone.

I sighed and shut my mouth. I wanted to prove her wrong to buy myself some time because I still wasn't prepared for the confrontation I had been avoiding for weeks. I should have told her when it was just the two of us; she deserved to hear it directly, not through eavesdropping.

When I glanced at Seeley, he looked surprised but showed no sadness or concern for Leigh's despairing expression. She deserved better, and I was a bitch for going behind her back and not telling her everything right away.

"You're kidding me, right?" she asked, her voice small yet hopeful.

I swallowed hard and slowly shook my head, apologizing with my eyes as I struggled to find my voice. Leigh brought her hand to her mouth, looking absolutely heartbroken. We'd been through so much together; she'd obviously never expected that kind of betrayal from me.

"You're in love with Heddy?" she asked Seeley, who looked at me before nodding.

"I've loved her for years," Seeley admitted.

At least he wasn't as cold about it as I'd expected him to be. After I'd tried to cut him off when he came for me at the police station, all I could think of was how numb his reaction had been when I told him about Leigh's feelings for him.

God, this was such a mess. I was a mess. None of this would have happened if I hadn't tried to get back at Clara or tried to rebuild our friendship with Seeley. This summer was supposed to be fun and full of joy. Instead, there were tears, secrets, lies, and betrayals. All because of me.

"For years?" she exclaimed, her eyes wide with disbelief.

Seeley stepped aside, allowing Leigh to regain control over her emotions.

"Yes."

Leigh then turned to me, tears welling in her eyes. The expression on her face shattered my heart even before she said anything.

"And you didn't tell me?" she pressed. "You kept this a secret from me all this time?!"

I hesitated, unwilling to utter the familiar, 'I wanted to tell you,' since I had heard that often enough myself.

"It was never the right time. I know I should have told you..."

"There's never a right time for this, Heddy!" she cried out in despair. "You were both laughing at me behind my back, weren't you?"

"No, please don't say that, Leigh," I begged, shaking my head, but she wasn't listening. "I'd never do that to you."

"I can't believe this is happening to me," she whispered, lowering her head.

Her pain made my heart drop; she looked like a lost girl searching for purpose. Thinking back to the times we had sleepovers or studied together for our exams, comforting each other, I kept wondering how I had let myself end up in a situation like this.