Not good for you

49;

I didn't say a word while packing my things. I focused on folding my clothes perfectly and then placing them in my suitcase.

I had a bitter taste in my mouth, not only because of going home but also because of how things had ended.

The more I thought about it the more I wanted to leave this house because whenever I looked around the bright walls that have become my home for the summer, I remembered nothing but the bad things.

I remembered Clara showing up and telling me off.

I remembered Seeley coming home after Clara had beaten him up.

I remembered how badly I'd betrayed Leigh.

Now that I was looking back at my secret affair with Seeley, I wondered if it was worth it.

Was it worth it to have secrets in front of my best friend, my partner in crime, for someone who was both the best and worst person to me?

I couldn't answer the question even though I had a feeling that it was a big no.

I should have been more mature and responsible about things and that cost my friendship. Despite the hatred and fury that Leigh has felt toward me now, I still hoped that someday we could overcome this.

She could be annoying and jealous whenever I mentioned someone else as my friend but her heart was in the right place.

And she had every right to get hurt when she found out that I'd been lying to her for a long time.

Because she'd never lied to me once. I was among the first people to know about the sudden feeling that she has felt toward Seeley.

I wondered if she still felt the same after how much Seeley has humiliated her that night.

I was still mad at him for not being able to sympathize with Leigh who has been our friend for years now but I also understood that all the drama that had happened to him just pushed him over the edge, into grayness.

When Leigh walked into the room to grab her bags and make her bed, our eyes met for a second before she turned away as if I wasn't there.

It hurt how much she has been ignoring me but this little time I had spent outside of her influence made me realize that some people just weren't meant to be friends for life and that was okay.

Because we had to leave in the present not in the future, no matter how much we have wanted to keep in touch with each other after graduation.

It was crazy how happy we had started this summer with laughs and jokes while having the best time of our lives only for it to end in tears and bloody faces.

"Thank you for this summer," I said even though I knew she didn't want to talk to me.

"I can't tell you the same, unfortunately." She mumbled and I turned around. She was facing the wall, trying to control her emotions and breathing.

"I know I said this already but I'm really sorry about everything."

She spun on her heels, narrowing her eyes.

"I've had enough of your apologizes." She snapped and I nodded.

If I wanted to have a calm conversation with her then I needed to play by her rules. And Leigh could be almost dead when she got mad.

"I know but since this is the last time we are talking, I think you owe yourself that much that you hear me out," I said quietly. "Or just sweep it all under the carpet."

"It's not that easy, okay?" She asked, pressing her hand on her heart. "My best friend lied to me for God knows how long while she was sleeping with the guy I liked. Do you know how does that feel?"