Not good for you

48;

Since that night, Leigh hasn't spoken to me. I tried to apologize whenever I could, but she wouldn't even glance my way. Given the expressions on the others' faces, I knew she had told them the details of my affair with Seeley. I kept staring at the ceiling at night, trying to find a way to make things right, but I had no idea how to crawl out of this hole.

I ruined my friendship for an emotionally unstable guy who could either be the most affectionate person in the world or someone who'd ruin you with two words in the blink of an eye. Seeley tried to cheer me up by telling me to ignore Leigh, but how could I? I was the one who lied to her face and sneaked around with the guy she liked. If I were her, I'd be just as mad and probably never give forgiveness a chance.

How do you overcome a betrayal like that? There was no way our friendship would be the same after this. Sometimes, I even wondered if we'd ever be friends again like we once were. I wouldn't blame Leigh for shutting me out completely.

Ironically, Austin had just finished his painting of the three of us, which looked stunning. He had talent, and I hoped he'd make a name for himself someday. The world deserved to see his work.

However, now, everyone tiptoed around me, mainly because Leigh kept glaring at me or bumping into me in the hallway. One day, when my sadness and guilt overwhelmed me, I rummaged through the gift bag Austin had given me for my birthday and sifted through the cards he'd written. I opened a brown envelope labeled 'read this when you're sad' without a second thought.

Try to remember that you've been the glue holding this group together, and we wouldn't be here right now without you. You are amazing, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise because they would be wrong. You were never heartless; you've always had the biggest heart among us. I hope that one day, my future daughter will be just as helpful, humble, and genuine as you've been with me. And I'll never forget you for almost crashing my bike; that wasn't cool.

Austin

I couldn't help but smile sadly at the irony of Austin's nearly unreadable handwriting. None of us realized that Clara and the others were right about me. I was indeed heartless and selfish, even toward my friends. It pained me to admit it, but Clara had a point back then when she began to pick on me and humiliate me in front of everyone. Leigh and the others deserved better; I ruined our friendship group, and I just wished I had never been a part of it to begin with. None of them deserved to have their summer ruined like that. If someone else were here instead of me, I was sure they would have had a blast this summer as they should have.

Recently, I've focused mostly on work and spent my afternoons and evenings with either Perkyn or my colleagues. I didn't want to go to the house and feel like a ghost; no one seemed to notice or care about me when I was in the same room. I knew I deserved every drop of hatred and disappointment my friends showed me, but that didn't ease the ache in my chest.

Perkyn struggled internally just as Seeley did. Now that I could see him from a different perspective, I finally recognized some similarities that Perkyn and Seeley shared without realizing the other existed for most of their lives. Their jawlines and faces were alike, but I had never noticed that before. I didn't tell Seeley that I'd been speaking with his brother. It still felt strange to refer to Perkyn as his brother. What I despised most about Oswald Drewitt was that he took Perkyn's chance to be a brother to Seeley. I was sure he would have made an incredible sibling if he had known he had someone to care for. It was truly a shame that neither Seeley nor Perkyn could meet their little sister, who had been taken from them too soon. No wonder his eyes looked cloudy most of the time, and he struggled to concentrate on work for long. Just imagine finding out that your life had been a lie and that your brother got the shorter end of the stick.