Silent

1. Michael, everybody wants you

Plymouth, England 

September 1997

The asphalt was glistening after the rain and the trees swayed gently in the soft autumn wind. The air was fresh, and the maple leaves were breathtakingly beautiful that time of the year, warm, flashing orange and red. 

The sun peeked from behind the clouds and the water droplets on the dark asphalt shone like small diamonds when the rays connected with them. The light was a warm beam running in different directions as the dispersed pieces of clouds moved across the sky, at times swallowing the sun behind them completely.

When the rays touched your skin, it was warm for a moment, but the wind was whimsical and didn't allow such pleasure to last for long. Michael sighed, saw a huge pile of fallen leaves on the side of the street, and couldn't hold back the urge to kick it. The pile fell apart, but, as the leaves were wet and stuck on each other, his childish whim hadn't caused greater grief to the park employees.

Michael reached to pick up one lonely leaf from the ground and played with it as he walked forward. He smiled slightly and studied the veiny surface of the leaf and its bright autumn colors before he allowed it to slip from between his fingers, watching as it gently fell on the dark green grass.

Once again, he drowned himself in the thoughts that had been bothering him for days. Slowly, he moved forward on the wet street, not even noticing a water puddle as he stepped into it. His shoe became soaking wet, and he looked down, feeling annoyed.

What else? he asked in his mind and sighed. The shoe was squelching, his sock was soaked and it made him shiver from the sudden coldness. He was beginning to get more and more absent-minded. These thoughts had taken up too large a part of him, and they had only grown stronger during the summer.

Love: it was supposed to be something wonderful! It was supposed to... but it was unfair and cruel. Why him? Why couldn't he have fallen in love with someone else? Michael kicked a lonesome stone on his way and cursed. The sun hid behind a cloud, and, now, his shoe had a soaking cold puddle in it, making a wet splash on every step.

As he tried to think of something more agreeable, he once again found his thoughts dwelling on his friend. He smiled secretly to himself as he remembered how Tommy had laughed at his own silly joke so hard that he had fallen over from a chair. 

Tommy had always been funny, a little crazy, and oh so lovely... Michael released another sigh. Falling in love with your best friend was complicated enough without the fact that they were the same sex; it was the cornerstone of his grief, so completely insuperable. Why did this have to happen to him? He had tried so hard to be normal, and now he was tired.

He couldn't sleep and had no taste for food. Surely Tommy had noticed something wrong by now. Michael knew he had, but the other boy didn't have a clue as to what was bothering him. Michael wished that he could tell him, but, in all honesty, he was afraid of the other boy's reaction. They had known each other their whole lives. People had teased them for being like brothers without any idea how it bothered Michael. Brothers? Hah! It was the last thing that he wanted to be to Tommy; it would have crossed the line...

When had it started? When had the feelings changed? Perhaps they had always existed and only now bloomed once they were nearing adulthood.

"Hey, Mikey, wait!" The running steps echoed against the asphalt, and Michael was startled by the familiar voice. He stopped in his tracks and turned, seeing Tommy running towards him. His freckled face turned into a grin.

Michael watched his friend with confusion, seeing Tommy even made him forget the unfortunate state of his shoe.

"Tommy, what... Where-?" he tried to reach for the right question but failed, still surprised to see the object of his secret affection suddenly there, in front of him.