Silent

45. A path to gloom

4/29/1992

The soft cello chord filled the music hall. Jean looked at the curly-haired young man on stage in silent awe, admiring how gracefully his fingers moved on the neck of the instrument, his right hand playing the spring in smooth movements. There was this serene look of focus on his features as he concentrated on the music he produced, and Jean could not take his admiring gaze from him.

The whole music hall was otherwise quiet. No one wanted to disturb the beautiful music played by the equally beautiful youth. Jean felt overwhelming pride in his chest. He held a bouquet of flowers in his hands, waiting to give it to his lover after the performance.

Sebastian had been nervous about his first solo. He hadn't needed to be. His talent was phenomenal. Eventually, the music ended, the lights on the stage brightened and people in the audience applauded Jean along with them. Sebastian got up, smiled that captivating way of his, and bowed to his audience before leaving the stage.

The hall began to empty, and Jean wanted to hurry. He staggered through the crowd towards the lobby and there to the performers' premises. The guard recognized him and let him move on. His enthusiasm turned to some degree of disappointment when he saw Sebastian hugging his music teacher. They smiled at each other, the older man touching Sebastian's shoulder and whispering something in a quiet voice that made Sebastian respond with soft laughter and his cheeks flushed. Jean didn't like the way they looked at each other. He slowed his steps and watched for a moment longer before he got closer.

"You were phenomenal, Chéri!" He declared and Sebastian turned, saw him, and smiled, though not as warmly as a moment ago.

"Thank you," he said and accepted Jean's embrace, a kiss on the cheek. 

"You were worried for no reason; I have heard nothing as beautiful in my life!" Jean continued.

"Sebastian is one of my best students." The older man in the room intervened and Jean glanced at him with annoyance he couldn't hide. The man was smitten with Sebastian. Jean had noticed it long ago. The man flirted with him, eyeing him too intensely, stood too close to his boyfriend, and Jean didn't like it. He liked even less how Sebastian seemed to answer to his flattery.

"Well, I have one of the best teachers," Sebastian smiled and looked at the older man in such admiration that further irritated Jean.

"Are you ready to leave? I've made a table reservation and I don't want to be late for it." Jean couldn't hide the irritation in his voice. Sebastian exchanged a few more words with his teacher and hugged him a bit too long before they left. Jean felt the jealousy get to him.

At dinner, he sensed a certain coldness in Sebastian. His thoughts were elsewhere, not in this moment, not in him, and it vexed Jean.

"Do you and that man have something going on between you?" Jean spoke, as they were later on their way to Sebastian's apartment.

"Martin and me?" Sebastian asked with a pretended offense in his tone.

"Well, yes, you and that music professor or whatever! You do realize that he's old enough to be your father!" Sebastian clicked his tongue and shook his head with annoyance.

"You're ridiculous, Jean! There is nothing between us," he snorted, hurrying his steps.

"Oh yeah, what I saw speaks differently!"

Sebastian didn't even bother to answer. He waved his hand to stop the approaching taxi. "You better go home, Jean. I'm tired and I don't want to argue with you," he said and opened the door to the cab that had stopped.