Silent

35. I miss a lot of things.

"Did you have friends there?" Sam asked while they were walking slowly along the Seine a week after the terrorist act. Michael wrapped his arms around his chest looking down at the pavement.

"Acquaintances, but..." he shrugged and glanced at Sam. "No one that I would mourn, who I'd been in contact with, or who I would know to have died."

"It was terrible in any case," Sam sighed. "At times one has to wonder where this world and humankind is going."

Michael was quiet and went over his thoughts before he spoke. "In truth, there have been similar terrorist acts in different parts of the world before too, the news is often filled with terrible things that people pass by quickly because it doesn't really have a direct effect on them. It's easy to grow numb to such news when they keep repeating...I guess we need to pass some of it, or one would go insane thinking about all the weight and sorrow in the world," Michael pondered quietly and frowned.

"But now it happened close, I mean it happened in our Western society where average people didn't perhaps expect it to happen. It's easier to identify with people who have similar lifestyles and cultures. We can more easily picture ourselves in those people's places who died or those who lost someone in New York that day. That's why this feels so shocking and huge to us, so unheard of. We know bad things happen, but until it happens to us we..." Again Michael frowned, feeling uneasy. He had never thought that what Ricky had made him go through, could happen to him. "We don't really believe it could happen to us... It seems absurd." He shook his head, his mind was crowded with different thoughts but Sam was there and he listened keenly.

"You're right. It was unexpected although I guess we should have seen it coming, perhaps not quite like this but... Still, I don't know, it just seems like there is a lot more cruelty lately..."

"Or perhaps we are just more aware of things... There's always been cruelty and wars and insanity of humankind... Now we are just more informed about it because of the Internet and media. And still, there happen lots of bad things that stay hidden... So is the world really more cruel and insane than let's say sixty or fifty years ago, or two hundred years ago? There have always been wars and people killing each other for religion or politics, or just hatred; I doubt it will ever change as much as one would wish it to change." Michael sighed.

"So no hope for humankind, we are slowly but surely destroying ourselves and the world we live in... That is a depressing thought."

"Well, you never know... perhaps the world will find a cure, maybe by getting rid of us and saving itself," Michael glanced at him and smiled briefly. "Unfortunately I see little hope for humankind, in the long run, if we won't magically change our ways to better..."

"Our conversation turned quite grim." Sam took note and chucked. "There is lots of good too, in us humans as well. We should focus on that."

"I suppose you're right," Michael smiled.

"I am right," Sam assured him. They were both quiet for a little while until Sam spoke out again. "But the following thought... I often find myself wondering how much the world has changed over the past hundred years for example. How odd it must have been for someone born in the early twentieth century to still be alive today and have witnessed all these changes, radio, TV, and telephones turning into mobile phones and the internet and all of it. Even I found small resistance when the mobile phones first arrived. I thought I wouldn't need one and here I am, hardly able to imagine my life without one."

Michael smiled and nodded. "I know what you mean. Although I am still not sure if I like having a mobile phone. I sometimes just get annoyed when it rings and I'd like to be at peace," he chuckled.