Warrior - Lokixreader

Pain - Loki

"Fuck!"

I could hear her voice croak out the profanity, but barely.

She was so weak and so was I.

I had been watching over her for the past week, but I couldn't bring myself to be there in the brief moments that she was conscious for. It broke me to see her body tear from the inside out as our child grew within her at an incredible rate. The strain on her mortal body was too much.

Mother had recommended that they keep her unconscious for extended periods of time so that they could manage her pain.

I didn't know what to do. I was racked with guilt.

Guilt for being so selfish in wanting a child.

Guilt for not being able to be there when she woke and called for me.

Guilt for my magic being the cause of her becoming pregnant in the first place.

I couldnt watch as my actions caused her such pain and discomfort. If I hadn't healed her, she would have died from that stab wound. But... how was I to know that it would also repair the scarring from her pregnancy with Gyda and thus allow her to get pregnant again?

I sobbed uncontrollably as I left the healing rooms, slumping down the wall outside of the door and burying my head in my hands as she continued to call for me.

I heard footsteps rushing down the hall and lifted my head.

Eir glared and tutted as she rushed past me into the room. She may not be able to speak, but by the norns, I could feel her disgust at my actions as she went by.

I turned my head away, ashamed of myself. I couldn't bare it much longer.

They thought she perhaps had a month, maybe six weeks left until the baby would be strong enough to be born early. They couldn't be certain as this was only based from theory. No mortal had survived to term from conceiving a half Jotun, half human baby.

I felt a firm large hand press against my head as I tried to shut out the world around me.

"What are you doing Loki?"

His voice was firm but calm at the same time.

I didn't move. I couldn't look at him. I couldn't bring myself to face my shame.

"You should be in there with her, not wallowing in self pity in the halls"

I felt them crouched down and place their hands on top of mine.

"Where is that fire that bought me to my knees? Where is that protector who would burn the nine realms for his love?"

I raised my head slowly and met his eye.

He was staring at me, not with disgust like he usually would, but with sorrow and regret.

"I may not have been the best father to you my son... You most likely still hate me for what I did by taking you and not telling you who you are"

I continued to look at him, dumbstruck as he let out a nervous chuckle.

"But I would hope that I raised you well enough to know that you should be in that room, taking care of the woman you love. She may sacrifice everything to give you what you truly desire... A family you truly deserve Loki"

He patted my hand before he stood up and offered me his.

"Now... Are you going to show me the God you are or do I have to drag you into that room myself?"

I looked from his face to his outstretched hand. This was the first time I had felt anything but hate towards him for a long time. I wasn't entirely sure that I was not dreaming at this point. If only he would have had this look in his eye when we were on that bridge... Maybe things would have been different. But then again, I would have never met the fierce female warrior and had this opportunity to love her, receiving her love in return.