𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫,𝐲𝐨𝐮//𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝓕𝓸𝓾𝓻𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓷: 𝓫𝓮𝓰 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓯𝓸𝓻𝓰𝓲𝓿𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼

I stayed in the hospital for a few more days because my blood pressure was very low and my stomach was almost empty.

On Thursday, my mother came to pick me up by car.

“Nancy, when we get home, promise me you'll at least try to talk to your dad."

I didn't answer her. I was just looking at the road through the window.

“Look, we're a family and we've been through everything together, this is just a small problem we have to deal with."

"Small  problem mom? It's my life, I don't know why you have to worry about it. I can solve my own problems."

"It doesn't look like it, Nancy . . ."

"So you're on my father's side now? I thought you cared about me."

Mom looked at me. Even though I knew she only wanted to help me, I was angry with her. I was angry with everyone.

"No, I'm not on either side. I just want to find the best and safest solution for you."

I didn't speak to her the rest of the way home. When we got home, dad was sitting on the couch in the living room.

"Hi Nancy, I'm glad you're feeling better now."

"Yeah... sure"

Mom sat next to dad on the couch and looked at dad who had just cleared his throat before this lecture started.

“Nancy, me and your mom understand that what happened must have been very confusing for you. A friendship with a girl your age that ends has sexually assulted you."

I looked at him confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"I understand that you went through a difficult time because of her, but…"

"Because of her? Really? Quite the opposite, father. Because of you, my life is shit."

"Watch your mouth, young lady, who taught you to talk like that? That sick girl? You got that behavior from her?"

"Don't talk about her like that. It's not her fault. It's all because of you. I don't like myself just because of you, dad. It's all your fault."

I broke down. Absolutely.

My mother wanted to run to me and hug me, but my father's hand stopped her.

Father took out a small leaflet from his pocket and threw it on the ground at my feet.

"This is one of the main confessions... denial."

I looked at the leaflet lying at my feet

"What is it"

"My friend, he works in a company that deals with this kind of thing"

"Therapy?" I said as I bent down to pick up the flyer he threw at me.

"Yes Nancy, you'll get well again"

"You can't be serious"

"Nancy, it's only for your own good"

"Did you know about this?"

I turned to my mother with tears in my eyes.

She just bowed her head without saying a word.

"I trusted you mom..."
I screamed and ran into the room.

"I advise you to pack, I will take you there tomorrow."

My father shouted at me, but I had already locked myself in the room.

I can't stay here, I can't.

I took out a bag from the closet and stuffed the first things I could get my hands on.

I had tears in my eyes the whole time I was packing.
Suddenly someone knocked on my door.

"Get out" I hissed.

"Nancy open the door it's me"

I opened the door, my brother and my little sister were standing there.

"Holly was afraid of...that scream" he said and handed me my crying and scared sister.

"It's okay Holly, nothing bad happend." I hugged her and sat with her on the bed.

Mike closed the door and sat next to me.

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know..."

"That means you're leaving us?"

It broke my heart to leave them in the house with our father, but I had no choice.

"Not for long, I just have to leave for a while to calm down a bit" I said and hugged him.

Holly buried her head in my shoulder. I felt like their mother.

"I'll miss you...I don't want you to go"

“Shh it won't be forever Mike, I just have to find a safer place to live."

"You leave us because of father?"

I nodded. It was slowly getting dark outside and I needed to get out of the house without the kids noticing.

"Mike I need your help"

Mom was in the kitchen preparing dinner and Dad was sitting in the living room watching TV.

I took my backpack on my shoulders, put on a sweatshirt, shorts and sneakers,kissed Holly on the forehead and left the room.

I thanked Mike for the last time and hugged him.
I saw him running downstairs pretending Holly had fallen on his basement stairs.

To my surprise it actually worked and both parents went the opposite direction to see Mike so I had a chance to leave.

I didn't know where I was going. But, I knew I couldn't stay home until my father came to his senses and let me live my life.

All I have left now is Barbara.