𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫,𝐲𝐨𝐮//𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝓢𝓱𝓮'𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓡𝓮𝓪𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓘'𝓶 𝓢𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓗𝓮𝓻𝓮

I dreamed about what I had been most afraid of since I was little. From solitude.

I have the feeling that I have no one to stand by my side in this hideous world.

And even the thought of losing the girl who brought color to my life broke my heart. She needs something that I can never give her. We needed each other. We were both lost butterflies looking for a place where we could be free and fly the world together.

Then, out of nowhere, I heard some noises. I felt something wet and cold on my skin. That's when I opened my eyes, and my nightmare evaporated. I rubbed my eyes with my hand and focused on the red-haired girl with a terrified expression on her face.

"Robin."
She said quietly with a trembling voice as she folded a wet towel from my forehead.As soon as I wanted to stand up, my head started to hurt as if someone were hammering nails into it.

"Whoa, just take it easy, Robin, okay?" The girl slowly helped me sit up.

"Thank God you're okay. Vickie wanted to call an ambulance, but we didn't know if you'd want to deal with them," said Clare, who was sitting on the couch, leading me and handing me a glass of water.

I shook my head and looked again at the redhead, who was holding my back with one hand and gently caressing my thigh with the other.

"What exactly just happened?"

"You fell out... Jassie was just outside for a smoke when she noticed that you were arguing with someone. She went to get me, but when we came out, you were already lying on the ground."

"I have to." I put my feet on the ground and looked around the room. My head still hurt and my eyes were burning when I looked at the light. "I have to go find Nance."

But Vickie's hand stopped me right away. "What do you mean? What happened to Wheeler?"

"My friends—the kids I was fighting with—told me they couldn't find her anywhere."

Vickie and Clare looked at each other. Then I noticed how they both looked at the taller man, who kept a smaller distance from me.

Victor.

"Well, I really didn't think I'd spend my free evening like this, but if you don't give me anything else, we're going to find your Nancy."

"Will you help me?" All the heads of children my age or even older nodded with a small hint of a smile. "Why? You don't even know me?"

"You're one of us, Robin; we're going to find your girlfriend," Victor said, stepping out into the cold, dark evening.

"So move guys, what are you waiting for?" Clare squealed, leading me, and I almost went deaf, but I didn't care.
Vickie grabbed my hand, and we all followed Victor.

I'm going to get my girl. Whatever it takes.

"Alright, any ideas where we could look?"Victor asked me and shined a flashlight in my face to take me back to the world.

"I don't know."

"Any favorite places of yours together?"

"I don't think..."

"Are there any stashes you had when you were kids?"

"No, I don't know—wait, I know about one place."

"Fine, Vickie, and Clare will come with you; we wouldn't want you to drop out in the middle of the road. The rest of us will split up and explore some places."

"Look for a girl with brown short wavy hair and blue eyes," I said already in the field, running to the place that came to mind first.

"And with a strong character," added Vickie, who was running behind me.

"Oh, and Victor? The man nodded and ran in another direction.

"Where are we going?" Clare asked.

"I think it will be better if I go there alone," I said, but I knew just from Vicki's look that it wouldn't work out for me.

"I'll be fine, Clare. I need you to find my friends." Clare nodded, but Vickie immediately screamed at me.

"You mean the kids who left you lying there in the snow?"

"They were just worried about Nance."

"And I'm worried about you. Robin!"

"I'll be fine when I find her, okay? Find my friends. That's how you'll help me the most now."

"If anything happens to you, I will kill you with my own hands, Buckley."

Vickie said that and grabbed Clara's hand, and together they ran away. I smiled for a minute, but the smile quickly disappeared. The priority now is to find Nancy.

And there it was. Just like the old days. A big old tree stood at the end of the forest, where hardly anyone walked.

Except for the two of us, inseparable friends who were secretly head over heels in love with each other.

Memories of how we gave each other poems and gifts there. We carved our initials into the bark of the tree because we thought that's how all our friends do it. We always had the most privacy in this place in the summer; we spent the whole morning and afternoon here until the sun went down. I didn't believe she would be here, but it was the first place that came to mind. I ran closer to the tree.

Nobody was there. I went through the entire tree with the flashlight that Victor had put in my hand earlier. I felt our initials with my hand and shivered a little.

R and N were carved in a small heart. I needed this. Just a small hint that nothing is lost yet. We both have a chance for a happy and safe life. So I decided to fight for Nancy with all my strength.

I ran to her house and firmly hoped that she would be there, healthy and safe, and would explain everything to me.

Maybe this is a bad idea. Who knows.