𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫,𝐲𝐨𝐮//𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓸𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻

It was already late in the evening, and Robin and I were lying on her bed under a warm duvet. I had my head on her shoulder. Robin was just reading me poems from the book I gave her for her birthday. In that moment, it was the best thing I could have wished for. As Robin continued to read, I looked at her like some painting in an art museum somewhere.

"You know it's really hard to read this amazing book when there's a very pretty girl looking at me."

I smiled.

"Oh, wait, you are here too."

"Bitch"

She smiled now.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Well, I think I'm going to find the pretty girl."

I pretended to be offended and pulled away from Robin.

"Okay, okay, can I kiss the pretty girl?"

"Whatever, if you want."

"Oh, I'm sure I want."

She leaned toward me and started kissing me. However, this was much better and more pleasant than in the hospital.

I heard raindrops on the window, and the candles in Robin's room created a pleasant atmosphere. What if this is my only chance to get somewhere?

I wanted to do it. I know Robin has already done this and is ready. I also know that she doesn't want to push me into anything.

My lips are still connected to hers, but now I slowly move and sit on Robin's thighs. Her hands wander under my shirt. I have nothing under it because all the things I brought in were wet. I gently bit her lip.

"Nance," she whispered.

"It's fine, I want it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes!"

Our lips connected again, but this time Robin was on top of me.
She slowly took off her shirt, and I did the same.

Her soft lips slowly kissed my whole body. It was the best feeling. She moved slowly, so I could enjoy the moment.
I tried so hard to keep her parents from hearing me, but it sure didn't help much. When she stopped at my stomach, she looked up and looked into my eyes.

I looked at her and nodded my head gently.
I tilted my head back with my eyes closed.
Robin carefully began to pull off my pants.

But when no kiss came, I realized what had happened.
I quickly sat up and looked at Robin.
She just sat there, looking at my thigh.

"Nance, what is it?"

"It's nothing, okay? It's old"

"It doesn't look old, Nance."

"It's old, I promise, okay? I don't do it anymore because I'm happy. My life is so much better because you're in it. I promise I'll never do it again, okay? Trust me."

"Okay, I will, but if anything happens or you need to talk to someone, I'm here."

I nodded, and I put clothes on me. I screw everything up again.

"How about we go to bed? It's pretty late, and there's a party tomorrow."

I smiled softly and nodded. I didn't realize Robin would see my scars. She's worried about me, which is understandable.

I have to meet my friends tomorrow to prepare a party for Robin. I hope tomorrow won't be awkward or weird between us after what happened tonight.

I turned my back on Robin. I thought Robin would do the same and roll over to the opposite end of the bed. She didn't do it. She gently hugged me from behind and put her head next to mine.