𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫,𝐲𝐨𝐮//𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

𝓔𝔁𝓹𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷

I watched as Jonathan walked quietly into the house. A little while ago, he told me in the car that I had to be quiet because his mom needed to sleep for work.

I've known Jonathan since kindergarten. But I never spoke a word to him. Although our mothers and our younger brothers are friends, The two of us never got along.

"Do you want something to eat?"

He asked me quietly when I came to his room.

I could hear my stomach grumbling with hunger, but I didn't want to eat.

"Just a glass of water."

I said that and sat on his bed.

After a while, Jonathan came back with a glass of water and sat down on the bed, a little further away from me.

"Have people stopped talking about what happened at school on Monday?"

"No. I mean, yes, it died down a bit because now rumors are spreading that Jessica Peterson is pregnant, but some people are still bringing it up."

"Wait, is she?"

"Huh?"

"Is she pregnant?"

I laughed, and he laughed too.

"I don't know, but it's probably just a rumor."

There was silence again. I didn't want to talk, so I just answered him.

"Nancy? Can I ask you something?"

"Just do it."

"Did you want to kill yourself on that trip?"

I buried my head in my hand and lay down on the bed.

"Maybe"

I thought he was going to call me crazy or laugh at me. Well, he didn't.

"You know that won't solve anything?"

"How can you know?"

"Because I was in a similar situation."

I got up from the bed and looked at him. He avoided eye contact, but I knew he needed to talk. Just like I needed it too.

"When my father was drunk and started beating my mother, I wanted to disappear. I felt like a burden because I didn't even help my mother; I was useless."

His voice began to break. I put my hand gently on his shoulder to continue.

"But I could never leave my brother and mom. They are all I have. They need me, and I need them. Nancy, I'm sure your siblings need you too and always will."

He was right in everything he said.

"I think I love her..."

Jonathan looked at me a little confused.

"God, I love her so much... but there's nothing I can do about it. All is lost, Jonathan. It will never be the same again. I messed everything up."

Now I'm the one crying. And Jonthan is the one who calms me down.

"Look, even though I don't know Robin that well... I don't think she hates you for what you did to her. She's angry for things you didn't do—quite the opposite."

I couldn't understand anything he was saying.

"I think the least you can do is apologize to her. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with her."

"Heart to heart?"

I raised my eyebrows with a small smile.

"My mother often gave me such advice."