Falling Doesn't Feel So Bad (Tartaglia x Reader)

Chapter 9

Y/N was about halfway back to her apartment when she heard rapid footsteps behind her.

The girl spun around to face Tartaglia, who stopped abruptly.

"Y/N ple-"

"Save it. There's nothing you can do to make me feel any different about you." Y/N spat viciously. Tartaglia winced at the venom in her tone. It took him a minute to form a sentence, but before he could even say it Y/N was walking away. The Harbinger narrowed his eyes, so this was how it was going to be?

"Stop being so fucking arrogant for five minutes and let me explain Y/N. I'm sick of you walking away!"

Y/N glanced down at her forearm, where Tartaglia was gripping. "Let me go." She said simply, and to her surprise, he did.

The girl sighed, giving up, "You have five minutes, but just know that nothing you say will make me feel any different about you." Tartaglia nodded, content with what he could do in five minutes.

"I'm sorry that I was the one who killed your parents, but I'm not going to lie about it, they would have been killed either way. You need to understand that when someone can't pay back their debt then they're as good as dead. If I hadn't killed them, somebody else would have. It's just the way it is, we don't make exceptions.

Y/N could feel her teeth grinding against each other with how hard she was clenching her jaw.

She hated it.

She hated how what he was saying made sense.

"I'm a Harbinger Y/N. I'm not the cute little kid who used to throw snowballs at you, I have blood on my hands. If I don't do my job then I'll get punished and my family will have to pay for my mistakes as well. If I had realized it was you sooner I would have been more easy on you when we were fighting. I really am sorry for what happened."

The man looked down at the girl, her eyes were glistening in the evening sunset. She was blinking furiously, but Tartaglia noticed the lone tear that escaped and made its way down her cheek.

"Y/N..."

"Shut up. I hate you. I hate the way that it all makes sense, I hate the way that you have an excuse, I hate the way we met after all these years. I hate everything about you. Ajax, I won't ever forgive you for what you did. The boy I was friends with is gone, and what I'm seeing in front of me, I want nothing to do with."

"I'm not saying you have to be my friend or anything, but could we at least talk or something and catch up on what's happened after all these ye-"

"You're a monster. You killed my parents, you can't honestly think I'd want to spend time with you just to 'catch up'. Don't be so naive."

Y/N took a step towards him, still maintaining eye contact.

"All that's happened over the past few years is that I've matured. Once I finally gave up on the thought of you coming back, I started training. You are the reason I am the way I am. If you had never left, then we both would have probably stayed friends our whole lives and become nothing, just other people that live their lives, die, and then are forgotten about. But now look at us, you're a killer and I do commissions because I have nothing else to do."

Her voice was slowly getting louder and more unsteady. Y/N's cool and calm facade was breaking and Tartaglia was the reason behind it.

"Its because of you that I don't know what to do anymore. Before, I actually had a reason to do commissions, I thought that if I did enough they wouldn't have to get a loan. I worked my fucking ass off day in day out, thinking I was making some sort of a difference! So when you killed them, I didn't know what to do. There was no need to do commissions anymore, no money I needed desperately to keep up the rent. Eventually, I just found myself doing commissions because I don't have anything else to."

Tartaglia stood there, watching as the girl blurted out everything. He knew he should say something to stop her from getting out of control, but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

After all, who knows when she'd next talk to him.

The man stayed silent, watching the angry tears stream down her face as she poured her heart out.

"I waited for you to show up, I was ready to kill you. I had every right to. Then when I finally got the chance to fight you, I couldn't even do that. Ajax, I don't even know what I'm doing with my life anymore, I thought that if I killed you, then maybe I'd feel some weight off my shoulders, but I was wrong. If I actually had killed you that day I would have had no reason to keep on living. All that was on my mind was revenge. When I found out it was actually you I just ran. I couldn't face you, not while knowing my childhood friend killed my parents."

Y/N paused for a minute, her eyes softened and Tartaglia saw the hurt and guilt that she always hid.

"I haven't felt anything other than hate and anger for so long. I don't know what to do."

There was a moment of silence that hung in the air.

Y/N stood still, sniffling while the tears fell down her cheeks. She was so angry with herself for letting him of all people break her down and see her like this.

She shouldn't have let him rile her up like that.

"I'm sorry, this was a mista-"

The sentence died on her lips when she felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her.

"Don't be sorry. Its my fault all of this happened. I wish things could have been different."