The Pain In His Eyes

Blood Type (Chp 8)

Last night we had dinner together and for the first time in a very long time, I felt like we were a normal family again. Of course I knew not to get too excited and happy about it because my happiness never seemed to last too long. You can imagine the happiness on the kids faces when they saw Aileen and do I even have to mention how happy she was to see them? Because she cried! A lot! I knew that all of those emotions weren't solely because she was with them but also because of the fear of something happening to Jayden. She wasn't the only one worried because I couldn't sleep at all last night. No matter how much I tried, I kept waking up every ten minutes to check on him.

With everything going on and Aileen being there, Lilli didn't seem to mind that Jake was also there. I'm sure she wasn't too happy about it but I think she had a lot more important stuff to focus on. With that being said, Jake spent the night over. I don't know how much longer he was going to stay but I really needed him right now. I needed all the help I could get. Emotionally more than anything else but I needed to be around people otherwise I would drive myself insane.

"Why don't you get some sleep and I'll be awake to check on him" asked Jake.

"I'm fine, I'm not exactly sleepy. My mind doesn't have the time to think about how tired I am."

"But you are tired and that's why you need to get at least a few hours of sleep. I'm already awake so I will check on him. You trust me that much, right?"

"What? Of course I trust you. Plus, he's your son. I know you wouldn't let anything happen to him."

"Exactly so therefore, please try and get some sleep. Hopefully Silas will be a match and we'll be able to schedule his surgery as soon as possible. You're going to want to be as rested as you can."

"I know but I'm just so scared. I feel so helpless. I should be able to help my son and yet here I am completely in no control of what happens to him."

"Well in these situations we have to trust that God will help. We've been in these helpless situations before and things turned out okay."

"Yeah I guess you're right. Okay I'll try to get some sleep but please, even the slightest thing promise you'll wake me up."

"I promise I won't let you miss a single thing."

"Thanks Jake."

"No, thank you for allowing me to be here to help as much as I can."

I looked at him and smiled. I know we've had our problems and differences but he was always there when I needed him the most. As many times as I was sure that I would never see him again, he finds a way to show up when I need him. Of course I wish things were different and that our lives weren't so complicated but maybe that's what made us so much stronger together as well as individually. Things always happen the way they are meant to happen and maybe at times we don't understand the reason behind it, but we have to trust the process and hope for the best.

Finally with the help of Jake, I closed my eyes and got some sleep. I was so exhausted. Maybe my physical body could handle a lot more than I could mentally. Mentally I was drained. Not only because of everything that has happened but also Jake added on top of that and now most importantly, my son. My mind constantly had something to worry and think about, it was never ending. Just when I finally thought I had a few days to calm my mind and self down, something horrible would happen that would send me right back to the emotional rollercoaster.

I must have been asleep for about an hour or so when my phone began to ring. Since I was expecting the call from the hospital I turned up my volume to the loudest I possibly could to make sure I never missed a call. When I heard my phone ring I quickly jerked off the bed and grabbed my phone.