Oneshots, etc.

Destined AU

Warnings: Mentions of death. At this point it should probably be expected that I have some kind of death in my oneshots, and it's not even intentional half the time.

"How do you even drink that stuff? It's literally pain in a bottle, I swear." Mario says, squinting in disgust at the glass of alcohol in my hand.

"Not my fault you have a sweet tooth." I respond, shrugging and gesturing at the milkshake in front of him. He rolls his eyes and takes a sip. "Or that you're the least dark lord-ey dark lord in the history of dark lords."

He elbows me in the ribs and scoffs.

"I'm not even a dark lord, I'm a necromancer. Get it right, O Chosen One Xylo-The-Totally-Not-A-Phoney."

Now it's my turn to scoff.

"You end up with a weird last name one time..." I mutter. Mario laughs at my suffering as a row of people along the bar begin singing some song. I hadn't heard that one in my last life - it must be new.

"Not my fault 'Phoney' literally means 'Fake'." He grins good naturedly beneath his hood, mocking me for what I said earlier. I huff, rolling my eyes, and drain my glass, the amber liquid inside burning my tongue and throat.

Mario pulls another face of disgust. A candle dies out on the small chandelier above us, and I give it a significant look. He turns towards it, and lets out a low, humming whistle. The skeleton of a small rodent hops off the light fixture, landing on his head and scuttling down into his pocket.

"Okay, but seriously, didn't you die of alcohol poisoning once?"

I tilt my head in acknowledgement, gesturing to the bartender for another glass.

"Yeah. Once." I confirm.

"How did you even manage that?" He glances around quickly, checking no one is listening. Everyone else is too drunk to care about anything outside their own stupor, and the bartender has gone off to help another customer pay for their drinks - and probably take some extra money out of their wallet too, while they're at it. Ah, crime-filled taverns. They really have an atmosphere like nowhere else.

Lowering his voice, Mario continues.

"You're not technically supposed to be able to die to anything except me."

I nod.

"Mmm. True. Still not sure how it happened, actually. I think I may have offended Life a bit much that time 'round."

"What'd you even do? Curse them out?"

"Yep."

He raises an eyebrow at this.

"Seriously? I do that to Death all the time and they couldn't care less." He mutters, taking another sip of milkshake through his straw. "Kinda wish they would care though. Might make existence more interesting between your lives."

I hum in agreement. We're silent for a moment, both of us thinking and sipping our respective drinks. After a minute or two, Mario pipes up.

"Life is really weird."

"True, true. They can be very odd at times." I respond. He shakes his head.

"No, I mean like, all the time."

I sit quietly for a few seconds, contemplating.

"Okay, you may have a point."

He rolls his eyes and grins at me.

"I always have a point."

"Whether that point's right or not is up for debate." I say, smirking. He punches me in the shoulder, and I double over cackling.