Oneshots, etc.

An Extra Chaotic Pirates AU

A/N: Hi, I'm back from being radio silent after however long it's been. In my defense, I got very distracted.
Anyway, this is an AU that I like to call, 'pirate-themed Scooby Doo but with more actual ghosts and also there's a random semi-unrelated enemies-to-lovers arc going on in the background'.
Basically, Marshie, Kit and Allumos are having some kind of enemies-to-lovers storyline, while everyone else is stuck living through an absurd mix of horror, comedy, and murder mystery.
On another note, romance is not a thing I've written, ever, and this chaos is probably as close as I'm ever going to get to it. So don't expect it to make sense.

Warnings: dead bodies (not described in detail, though), implied past death, and I don't know if drinking alcohol needs a warning but I'm putting it here anyway.

Marshie strode confidently out of her cabin, her Captain's hat perched smartly atop her head.

The sky above was a bright, shining blue, and seagulls cried out from the crow's nest as the boat rocked gently on the waves. It truly was a perfect day. Or it would have been, if it weren't for-

"The Captains of the Brimstone and the Faerlund are requesting your presence at the dock, Captain," The First Mate - Mania - announced, ignoring the sour look on Marshie's face. "And Mario claims that they are becoming rather agitated, so I would recommend hurrying up."

"Faerlund, fair-land. Allumos couldn't have picked a more obvious name if he tried - not that he ever does," Marshie seethed. Mania's calm expression twitched slightly as she tried desperately not to roll her eyes. "And Brimstone? You like fire, we get it, Kit! Stop talking about it every five seconds! Gods."

"Captain, as interesting as all that is, you really need to get to the meeting. Preferably within the next hour." Mania tucked her hands into the pockets of her jacket, hiding the way her fists clenched in frustration, and keeping her calm exterior intact.

"Yeah, Captain, you say that every time you need to talk with them," Mario agreed, walking up to them with what looked to be a handful of coins. "Literally, word-for-word, exactly that."

Marshie scowled at the lookout - who was also the only person on the crew who could cook, so she couldn't shove him overboard, unfortunately - and he beamed back as innocently as he could. She turned her eyes to the coins he was holding instead, frowning at them with suspicion.

"What's that?"

"Oh, these?" He held up the gold and silver pieces to look at them himself. "Nothing much, got them in a bet."

"With one of the townsfolk?"

"...Yes." Mario said, after a moment of silence. Mania buried a burst of laughter in her hand at the obvious lie, but Marshie didn't seem to notice, her mind too preoccupied with the unofficial captain meeting that was about to take place.

"Yes, well- Good." She nodded her head decisively, as though she'd made an important decision. "Inmo, take care of the ship while I'm gone." She called out, and Inmo gave her a thumbs up from his place at the steering wheel.

The First Mate and the lookout watched as their Captain stomped down the gangplank and onto the docks. They continued to stare in silence until she was well out of earshot, and they could no longer see her around the vast shape of the Brimstone.

"Oh my gods." Mania buried her face in her hands as Mario started laughing. "Oh my gods," she repeated. "Not even a blink! And you waved the coins right in her face and everything!"

"If she's too focused on her crushes to notice a full-on explosion, Inmo straight-up phasing through the floor, or us dragging a rotting corpse across the deck, she's not going to care about me and David's bet." Mario shrugged, grinning, and Mania punched him in the shoulder. He yelped in pain. "Ow! What was that for?"