Oneshots, etc.

A Very Strange Tour (Magic House AU)

A/N: This is just a very short thing. One of my favourite fantasy concepts is "weird house filled with a bunch of supernatural creatures", so that's essentially what this is. Basically: Xylo, a normal human, accepts a job as a caretaker, unaware that the building is filled with magical items and supernatural inhabitants. Kay, local witch and the owner of the place, gives him a tour and explains things to him.

XYLO'S P.O.V.

"Well, now that you've seen the first part, let's move on to the bigger stuff, shall we?" Kay grins, pushing open the door with a dramatic flourish, her witch hat and cloak billowing in a nonexistent breeze.

"There's more? I thought this place only had two floors," I say as I step off the stairs and through the open door, before remembering all the strange things I saw on the previous levels. "Wait, nevermind."

Kay leads the way through the large, brightly lit living room, pointing out various things and introducing residents. Meanwhile, I cautiously edge past the small orange bird sending me a death glare from the back of the couch, trying my best not to get my throat ripped out.

I think I'm starting to regret accepting this job.

"That's Mitch." Kay gestures to a small blue-and-black figure pressed face-first into the ceiling right next to one of the lights. "He's some kind of house spirit - don't ask what kind, he'll get upset - and don't worry, he's perfectly fine up there."

Mitch makes a muffled noise of agreement, and gives us a thumbs up.

"The one over there is Mario-" She points to the small kitchen attached to the room, where someone with six arms is digging through the cupboards. Mario freezes like a deer in headlights, staring at us with wide eyes - eight of them, in fact. "He's part spider or something, I don't know. I found him under the stairs and I just kind of kept him."

I stare back into his solid green eyes. They look like they're glowing. That's a bit disturbing, actually.

Someone sinks through the ceiling, floats down to the floor, and passes straight through it, all while looking like they're asleep in bed. I turn to Kay, raising an eyebrow.

All she says in response is, "That was Inmo. Don't ask."

"Okay, understood." I nod. Behind me, the small orange bird screams as loudly as possible, and I flinch. Kay just rolls her eyes at the bird's theatrics.

"Yeah, yeah. Xylo, this is Kit. She's not normally a budgerigar. There was a bit of a mess-up with a potion." Kay waves a hand towards the bird now known as Kit.

"Are budgies supposed to be orange?" I ask, eyeing Kit warily. I swear I see an evil grin form on her beak.

"Nope."

"...Right. Okay then. Uh." I awkwardly hold out my hand, as though offering a handshake, before remembering that birds don't typically have hands. "Nice to meet you?"

Kit snaps her beak like she's trying to bite me, and I take an involuntary step back out of fear, despite being on the other side of the room.

"Kit, be nice, you're scaring him," Kay chides, crouching down beside the couch so she's eye-to-eye with Kit. "Threats of murder are saved until the second week, not the first day."

Yep, I'm definitely regretting this already.

A/N: If you have any questions, feel free to ask, and if you have any ideas for what other characters could be, please let me know because I came up with this AU two hours ago at most and it's still very much unfinished and unplanned.

Anyway, have a good day/night, raw cookie dough has a chance of giving you food poisoning because of raw eggs, but who cares, it's tasty.
: )