Do I have several oneshots I should probably be writing instead of making this? Correct. Am I making this anyway? Also correct.
On a similar note, yes, the actual part two for the Destined AU is being written at the moment - but don't expect it to be done any time soon, because it's turning out to be far longer than expected.
Another thing, these quotes are scattered across the timeline of the AU, so each character's personality may vary depending on when it's set. For example, if it's earlier in the timeline Xylo is fairly cheerful, while Mario has a more negative attitude, but if it's set later on, Xylo is the serious one, and Mario is just plain chaotic.
This is mostly just Mario and Xylo, because they share a single braincell and their dynamic works for a lot of the quotes, but there are occasionally some other characters in here.
Quotes are from this, although I don't know how to link it, sorry about that: https://perchance.org/incorrect-quote-generator
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*Xylo and Mario's house is on fire, but they don't know it*
Xylo: Wow, it's hot in here.
Mario: I know, it's so hot there's smoke coming out of the vent!
Xylo:
Xylo: First of all, I'm assuming you have no idea what the problem with that statement is.
Mario: What?
Xylo: Second of all, we need to get out of here, NOW.
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Xylo: I've invited you here because I crave the deadliest game...
Mario, nodding: Knife Monopoly.
Xylo: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.
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Xylo: Who hurt you?
Mario, snorting: What, do you want a list?
Xylo: ...Yes, actually.
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Mario: The time to act is now.
Mario: Wink, wink.
Xylo: Don't say "wink wink". Just wink.
Mario: Oh, sorry.
Mario: Wink.
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Xylo: Life could be worse, Mario.
Mario: Life could be a lot better too!
(Note: Within the context of the AU, they could be referring to their lives, or to Life the Deity. Either way it works.)
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Mario: So I got this amazing plan!
Xylo: We fail almost every time you say that.
Mario: Well this is the same! But with a hamster involved.
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Xylo: *raises eyebrows*
Mario: Put those back down!
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Xylo: Jail is no fun. I'll tell you that much.
Mario: Oh, you've been?
Xylo: Once. In Monopoly.
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Xylo: It's called cauliflower, not ghost broccoli.
Mario, eyes wide: I know what I saw.
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Xylo: I know this isn't going to end well and I don't care. So don't you try and stop me, Mario!
Mario: I wasn't stopping you. I was asking if you had a spare camera so I can record this.
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Mario: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- (translation: I'M SORRY)
Xylo: What's that?
Mario: Remorse code.
Xylo: I'm even angrier now.
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Xylo: Look, Mario, if you can fit your head down the gun's barrel, you can assume it doesn't have a non-lethal setting.
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Xylo: SCREW THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED!
Xylo: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY!
Mario: Xylo just threw a tantrum about a chair.
Mario: I just won Xylo Tantrum Bingo.
YOU ARE READING
Oneshots, etc.
FanfictionOneshots, story ideas, occasional incorrect quotes. You probably get the idea. Most of the characters in this probably aren't mine, unless I created them, in which case I will say so. You can request if you want to, but I won't do it if I don't feel...
