A Silent Hope

Chapter Twenty Six

Mackenzie

I looked down at the woman beneath me and smiled. Thalia's eyes were cloudy and seductive, the little smirk on her red lips only drawing me in more.

My fists were beside her head to hold my weight up, her legs slowly wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer. I leaned down just as her hands cupped my neck. The previous fast paced kiss was now gentle and deep. I found myself enjoying this one more.

My mind spinned, thoughts of what this was, becoming too much. I was falling for Thalia, with the high possibility that I'd already fallen and plummeted heart first. I didn't want another one night stand or a casual hookup.

I wanted everything from this woman. I wanted to know what she hasn't trusted me enough to reveal yet, I wanted midnight conversations that went on until sunrise. I craved to know what made her smile or cry. I wanted to know what she thought of in moments I'd find her spaced out and thinking so hard her lips pouted and eyebrows creased.

What was the one thing she wanted most in this cruel world?

Sex with Thalia with my feelings hidden would be meaningless to her. I didn't want that.

"What is it?" She whispered, a finger tracing my lips.

I realized I'd stopped kissing her and was just staring into those brown eyes and green irises. "I...you...I wanted to tell you something."

"Right now?" She unhooked her legs from around me, but made no other move to detach our bodies.

I nodded dumbly, too fast.

"Do you not want to?"

I caught the worry in her eyes and quickly spoke. "Oh, I want to. I really want to. Believe me, there's nothing I want more. Well, only one other thing I want more. Which is what I want to talk to you about." I sat up and Thalia followed.

"Okay?" She reached for my sports bra and handed it over when she saw me looking.

I put it back on and stood at the end of the bed. "Okay." I wrung my hands together. "There's this thing...in this area," I gestured to my chest. "And you do that. You understand? Because you gotta understand."

Thalia stood and turned on the lights before sitting back down. "Are you okay, Kenz?"

I exhaled, frustrated with myself. "Are you into women, Thalia?"

She slowly blinked at me. "I've been with a woman before. Once. Men were just more open about what they wanted and I didn't really care back then. Why?"

"Do you care now?" I asked carefully. "About who you sleep with?"

Thalia's eyes lowered to her hand playing with the sheets. "I don't know. I only slept around before because I thought it would help. It didn't. The chill only went away when-" She abruptly stopped and locked eyes with me. "Well, it hasn't vanished completely, but there's times when you're near and warmth replaces it." A small smile played on her lips even though her eyes showed fear.

I bit down on my own lip to conceal the goofy smile. Sure, it wasn't a confession but I'd take it. Being someone's warmth? It was completely new to me, but if that's what she needed, I'd gladly deliver. If Thalia needed warmth, I'd make sure I was a fucking furnace or something else that fits.

"Will it be okay if I told you I like you? Not just as a friend, but maybe, possibly more? As in, I'd like to...um, you know...take you on a date sometime?" I mumbled sheepishly and fearfully.

The woman on the bed cast her eyes away. "Why would you?"

I frowned, the small amount of courage I'd mustered up threatening to disappear."I want to know you more."