when all else fails // matt sturniolo (slow updates..)

~seven~

I hesitate outside the door to Matt's room. I know I should go in and talk to him. I know the boys are right. But part of me doesn't want to. Part of me felt safe knowing he'd never fall for me. I force myself to knock on the door.

"Chris, go away, I don't want to talk." Matt croaks from behind the door, but I ignore him and open it. "Please," his soft voice breaks my heart. He's lying on the bed, face in the pillow, making no effort to move when he hears someone breaking into his room. 

"Chris isn't here," I whisper, sitting on the bed at his feet.

"Jordy?" He turns his head. "You're talking to me now?" 

"Not sure," I smile. "Do you want to talk to me huh?"

"Not really," he mumbles, but as I get off his bed, he grabs hold of my wrist. "Suppose I've got to, right?"

"I would say no, but I think Chris and Nick might have something to say about it," I chuckle, and he sits up, making space for me to sit down.

"So what do you want?"

"To apologise?" I offer, causing his face to soften into a smile. 

"Go on," he fails to fight the smile that twitches at the corner of his lips.

"You never make the boys apologise," I frown, earning a pillow to the face.

"Maybe I like the boys more," 

"Rude!" I grin, but continue. "Okay I want to say I'm sorry for spending the whole day ignoring you. And I'm sorry for telling your brothers. And I'm sorry that I wouldn't have come here if it was not for them."

"Well you're here now," he smiles. "How come you've been ignoring me though?"

"I've liked you for years, and I thought you were just messing about," I admit. "You weren't yourself."

"I didn't know what to do," he shuffles. "I didn't realise you thought like that, and it just came out."

"So you didn't mean it?" My heart falls to my stomach

"No!" He shouts. 

"Oh. Okay, that's fine. I don-"

"No I mean, no I didn't not mean it." He cocks his to the side. "Wait did that make sense?" I laugh, nodding my head slightly, receiving a sigh of relief as a response. "I mean, yes I meant it. I just freaked, and it just happened without me thinking about it."

"I see," I smile. If he hadn't taken a minute to think about what he was saying, then it must have been the real him. Right? "Well I still stand by the fact you're kissable," I look at him for a few seconds, before pulling myself against his lips. That was the worst first kiss ever, and definitely not how a kiss is meant to happen. "Well that was awful, I am so sorry," 

I'm pulling away, when he shakes his head. "You rushed it, that's all," he smiles, leaning in much slower than I had, placing his lips gently against mine, hands finding their way to my waist. As I melt into the kiss, my hands push against his chest and my eyes close. After a few heartbeats, he pulls away, but for a few moments, I can't open my eyes. When he finally speaks, it comes out as a hoarse whisper. "That one was less awful,"

"Shut up," I croak, still holding myself close to him. "I'm glad I listened to Chris and Nick now," 

"I am too," I feel him smile against me, and all I want to do is kiss him again. "Stay here tonight?"

"Of course," I smile back, but then it falls when I realise I've got to leave him. "I should let Nick know."

"He'll work it out," he says, but I shake my head and stand up to leave, but I'm pulled back down onto the bed, greeted by a quick kiss. "Okay you can go now,"