Never let me go - cate blanchett x rooney mara

epilogue

7 years later

Rooney pov:

I was yet again on another business trip, filming yet again another movie, that would yet again hopefully make a lot of money. But it was more than that, I want it to move people, make them feel something.

All these years I've just been doing the same thing, pretending to be someone else. It's nice for a while, but after all I have my own life. A few years ago my work was my life. Cate couldn't ever understand that. Now, I long for someone to hold me when I get home.

Standing in front of the apartment I've been staying at these last months I waited for a taxi. I was grateful it quickly arrived, wanting to go back to my home, missing it's walls.

Cate and I have always been so messy, everyone else said we wouldn't work out. In a way they were right. Cate had her family, I had work. You'd think we would find similarities in both of our passion, but somehow it ripped us apart. Cate loved her work, sure, but her family was more important to her, more important than me.

Now, Cate had her life and I had mine. After all, it worked out for both of us, just not together.

The world wasn't ready for our kind of love, wasn't ready for us. Somewhere deep down, both of us knew it wouldn't work out. Cate knew it before I could even comprehend it.

I looked out the window, seeing new york with it's skyscrapers and glass fronts, the always busy streets, hundreds, thousands of people. I always thought it's interesting that all these people have their own lives. Suddenly your own problems feel so small.

I was standing in front of my house, I had bought it about 7 years ago when our realationship went downhill.

I dropped my bags to the ground, finally being able to let my guard down, to relax.

I was walking around the empty house, wishing, dreaming, wanting her here, with me. I imagined her hugging and kissing me as i walked through the door of the living room. Somehow I still miss her. I miss her in the corner of the living room, sitting there reading her favourite books. I miss her dancing in the kitchen with me. I miss her in the garden, planting strawberries with me and edith.

Coming home didn't feel right without her, home didn't feel like home. It felt empty, endless nothingness.
I caught myself drawing out the life we could've had, only if it wasn't for the circumstances.

I decided i needed to get out and grab a coffee just around the corner. I used to go there almost every day 8 years ago.

As i opened the door the smell of roasted coffee beans and chocolate infiltrated my nose, after all these years i felt the comfort of the known atmosphere calming my muscles. I was deciding which coffee i should take and settled on my usual latte with almond milk.

I walked outside, the fresh autumn air cooling me down and clearing my head. I was thinking about me and Cate, what we had was so special and then we threw it all away.

Still in her thoughts, Rooney didn't look around her, and a woman bumped into her. Her coffee fell and it spilled all over the floor.

"Omg I am so sorry." Rooney recognised the voice, how could she not.

"Oh don't be, but I was really enjoying that coffee."

As she looked up she could see that oh so familiar face, the face that haunted her mind every day. the face she used to know.

Cate.

It was the same as when they met for the first time, only now, it was Cate who was nervous.

" Oh, hi, I- I'm really sorry i ran into you here."

"It's fine Cate it's not like you can just not go to New York."

"I'm really sorry about your coffee, let me get you another one."

Rooney didn't know if she should say yes. She wanted to, surely, but their past was ugly,

"Okay. ''

yet, she did.

Cate did buy her that coffee, visibly nervous. Rooney couldn't blame her. neither of them said a word until they walked out of the coffee shop. Rooney wanted to say something, she just didn't know what to tell her, the last time they saw each other was linked with crying, screaming, yelling. Finally she spoke up.

"I miss you in my house, it's empty without you. I wish we could go back in time, I'd change a lot of things. You're always wiser afterwards. "

Cate stayed silent.

"You hurt me Catherine, you really did. I'm not mad at you though, I wasn't easy either. We're both to blame for what happened. I just can't do this again, because I won't recover after that."

Finally Cate spoke up.

"So this is the last time, this is goodbye?"

For a split second Rooney thought: what if? They're both different now, Cate's kids are older now, Andrew moved away. Rooney needed someone now, she truly was ready for her life with someone and perhaps even for kids. So she took the risk.

"It doesn't have to be."

___

hey loves,

i know I didn't write for a really long time please forgive me. I felt i needed to give this book a proper end so here it is!!!
I hope y'all like how it ended, also now you can imagine what happened to them yourself, ISN'T THAT FANTASTIC??! yes, i love open endings. Please don't be mad at me though. stay safe and take care of yourselves <3

-katja