Hardest to Lose (Villaraza Series #4)

34 | Whoever

34 | Whoever

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My mother wasn’t exactly religious. She would go to church just whenever she liked. I would even bet she rarely prayed. But she was passionate with her beliefs.

And one of which was that a woman could never be with another woman.

“Okay ka lang, Iñara? Namumutla ka. Gusto mo mag-retouch?” Mikaela suggested when I returned after that encounter.

Hindi ako nagsalita at tiningnan lang siya. Mukhang nakuha niya naman iyon kaya hindi na siya nagsalita pa. Iniwan niya ako roon at inabala ang sarili sa pakikipag-usap sa iba.

Ibinaling ko ang atensyon sa mga nanginginig na kamay sa aking mga hita.

Mommy called my name when I turned my back against her. But I never heeded. I ran like a coward that I was.

Ilang beses kong in-imagine ang araw na malalaman nila ang katotohanan ko. I had memorized every word I would say and the number of breaths I would take. But they were all in vain now.

She was probably disgusted of me.

Gusto kong umiyak at pumunta kung saan. Hindi na ako sigurado kung tama bang narito pa ako at tanggap ng sarili kong pamilya.

Sinabi niya na kaya kay Daddy? Sa mga kapatid ko? Ano kayang iniisip nila?

“Iñara, si Markus!”

Tamad kong hinanap ang dahilan ng mga impit na tilian sa paligid ko.

Markus was wearing a maroon coat with a black v-neck shirt underneath. Maroon din ang kanyang slacks at itim ang mga leather na sapatos. He looked fresher than usual and it took me seconds to notice he shaved. He must be invested on this. And, of course, the infamous earring he got.

I wondered who told him I would wear maroon today.

I was about to tease him how he swept off every girl’s feet in here when I recalled what had happened earlier. Dama kong gumapang palabas sa lungga ang kahihiyan ko.

Shit! Abalang-abala ako sa pag-iisip sa nanay ko, to the point I had forgotten what my issue was with him.

“Iñara.”

Gulat na nilingon ko siya. “Y-yeah?”

He stared at me for a while before he shook his head. I swallowed hard and tried to stay cool.

I was damn pathetic.

Lumapit sa amin ang isang kaklase ko para igiya kami sa uupuan namin. All along, my heart hurt that I felt I would faint.

“Nakita ko kanina si Adelle. Did she come for you?” he asked softly after we were settled on our seats.

“Ah, oo. We . . . talked.”

Adelle left after that incident. Sising-sisi siya sa ginawa. As much as I was annoyed that her mischief which birthed to an untimely revelation to my mother, I couldn’t blame her. It was out of her control nor within mine.

Tumango lamang si Markus at ipinako ang atensyon sa nagsisimula nang programa.

Pasimple ko siyang pinagmasdan nang maigi. He was trying to stay calm like I was. I could feel he was concerned that I would flee if he would talk about it. And I appreciated it so much.

This was really weird. I was always confident with people I had fancied before. What made him different? It couldn’t be because he was a guy and I never romantically liked one in my entire life.