Hardest to Lose (Villaraza Series #4)

17 | Cookies

17 | Cookies

The punch was pretty hard. Kaya nang nakita kong may band-aid si Markus nang sumunod na araw, kahit ipinagdasal kong sana wala, naintindihan ko iyon at hindi na nagreklamo pa.

“Sino kaya sumuntok diyan?” natatawang sabi ni Faye nang lumiko si Markus pagkakita sa amin. “’Yan kasi. Napakagago. He has to learn sometimes.”

Pilit akong ngumiti.

He was a dickhead. I punched him because he had pissed me in every way a person could. But I couldn’t be perfectly happy for being violent.

Pasa lang naman siguro ang ibinigay ko sa kanya, ano? I hoped he didn’t dislocate his jaw. The blow had all my hatred for him. I wanted him hurt but not to the point of injuring his beautiful face.

That was my thought the next days all about. Habang tumatagal ay mas umiiyak ang konsensya ko. Ilang araw na pero halata pa rin iyong pasa sa mukha niya. The giggles of some on how he now perfectly embodied his bad boy image didn’t even make me less guilty.

Should I apologize?

“Why should I? He did me wrong first. Hangga’t hindi siya nagso-sorry sa’kin, hindi rin ako magso-sorry sa kanya!” halos singhal ko sa cell phone habang nakatitig sa profile account niya sa social media.

He deserved it! Kung hindi lang siya isa’t kalahating gago, hindi iyon mangyayari sa kanya. He had no one to blame but himself. He saw it coming!

But did I really have to punch him to prove a point?

I groaned and buried my face on the table.

I should have just vindicated myself with vile words. Mas epektibo iyon at dadalhin niya sa mahabang panahon.

Should I really apologize?

After minutes of serious contemplation, I sat upright and clicked the inbox icon. If I wanted to shut up my conscience, I had to do this now.

Hey.

Kagat ang hintuturo na naghintay ako. We weren’t connected. My message could have been stuck in his requests. But he was online, I was sure. He would have given my message attention unless he was ignoring me.

Lumipas ang ilang minuto hanggang sa naging isang oras. Hindi ako mapakali habang paroo’t parito at pinaglalaruan ang ibabang labi.

Should I chat again?

With that in mind, I hurried to my chair and typed a message. But before I could finish a sentence, he finally had seen my first chat. Sumikdo ang dibdib ko.

Now what do you have to say, Markus?

Naghintay ako na mag-reply siya. But to my dismay, he did not. Binasa niya lang at inignora.

I scoffed as expletives ran through my head. Wow. I reached out to him even though it wasn’t entirely my fault and he just ignored me? What a jerk!

Kung ayaw mo, sige! As if I really wanted to reconcile with you! In the first place, you should be the first one asking for apology. The punch couldn’t have happened if you were a decent human being!

It was my dilemma whenever my guilt would cry. So far, it had done me a great deal of relief. But it didn’t last long as I intended it to be. Dahil noong nakita ko siyang may pasa pa rin sa mukha at malamig ang tingin sa akin makalipas ang ilang linggo, kinurot na naman ako ng konsensya ko.

Shit. He didn’t deserve to be forgiven but I couldn’t rejoice after hurting him physically.

Nang sumapit ang Linggo, inihanda ko ang sarili sa paggawa ng cookies. I wasn’t sure if he still liked them but I could try. I’d give them tomorrow to him for the sake of my peace.