Hardest to Lose (Villaraza Series #4)

18 | Traitor

18 | Traitor

Vacation came after the final exams. Markus' bruise had scarred. And I still wasn't able to apologize to him.

I didn't have any regret, though.

Tama si Faye. Hindi lang dapat ako ang sumusubok na mag-sorry; siya rin dapat. Because he was partly at fault. Kung hindi lang siya gago, hindi ko sana siya susuntukin. We were both responsible. I couldn't be the only one to feel the burden between us. That would just be unfair, especially if he didn't feel remorse for what he did at all.

Kaya bahala na siya sa buhay niya.

"Grabe, blooming na blooming ang bakla."

Maarte akong nagpaikot ng mga mata at ipinatong ang mga braso sa railings. "Lagi naman akong blooming, a."

Zenith scoffed on the other line. "Hay naku, Iñara. Kapag 'yan bulilyaso na naman, ewan ko na talaga sa'yo. Ang rupok-rupok mo. Pakitaan ka lang ng kaunting kabaitan, hulog na hulog ka na agad."

And I thought we were done with the subject.

"She's different," depensa ko.

"'Yan din sinabi mo no'ng kay Adelle, 'di ba?"

"Alam mo, kaibigan kita. Hindi mo kailangan palaging kumontra. Kampihan mo rin ako minsan."

"Paano kita kakampihang bakla ka? Parang buwan-buwan ka na lang may prospect."

"At buwan-buwan din akong naha-heartbroken, a."

"Exactly!" Inilayo ko nang bahagya ang cell phone sa tainga. "Hindi mo ba nakikita kung anong mali sa'yo? Ang bilis-bilis mo magtiwala. Ang bilis-bilis mong mahulog. Handa palaging sumugal hanggang kamatayan-"

"Gagang 'to!"

"-kahit isang beses mo palang nakausap 'yong babae. Diyos ko, Iñara. Matalino ka naman. Pero bakit ang bobo mo pagdating sa usaping puso?"

I was so tired of this.

I stayed for almost a month in Switzerland with my Spanish relatives and had just gotten back in the country four days ago. In that stay, I met a Filipina. Her name was Cheska. A wonderful person. Madalas kaming mag-usap at nagkasundo pa nga kaming magkita kapag nakauwi na kami sa Pilipinas. Fate or coincidence, parehas kami ng school na pinapasukan. Only that she was a Nursing student. That explained why she wasn't familiar.

Gusto ko ba siya? Oo. She was a breath of fresh air, extremely cute, and hard to resist. Of course, Zenith didn't like that I was into another girl again. Naiintindihan ko naman siya. She was just concerned. Lalo na ngayon dahil madalas akong magkagusto sa mga hindi ako siniseryoso. But she needed to stop her worries.

Oo, madali talaga akong mahulog. But I wasn't stupid.

"I said I like her but it doesn't mean I like her enough to want her as my girlfriend," kumbinsi ko.

"And what if you do after a week?"

"Diyos ko naman, Zen! Ganyan ba talaga karupok ang tingin mo sa'kin?"

"Oo. You are so obsessed with being loved, Iñara. Kaya kaunting kabutihan lang, nagkakandarapa ka na."

"Ouch."

"It's true! You easily fall not because you entirely like the person. It's because you like being loved - you want to be loved."

I was speechless.

So this was what her opinion of me all along.

"Iñara," untag ni Zenith mayamaya sa banayad na boses. "I'm just concerned about you. I was harsh and I'm sorry. But those words were the ones I wanted you to hear. Rein your heart. Hindi lahat ng saya sa puso ay kailangang palalimin."