The Greatest Mind I Ever Knew

Chapter 25: Complex Emotions

The journey back to London that evening felt twice as long as the drive to Winchester had the day before: partly because it was dark and we were all tired, and partly because nobody wanted the weekend to end. I'd never seen so Lotan himself as he was over those two days. He was constantly chatting with someone, never left alone, but he loved every second of it! He looked happy. Unburdened. Well-rested. While Andy and I had visited the salon he'd visited the barber with my dad, brother, uncle and grandpa, and reported back to me afterwards that he had felt nervous at first, but everyone had very quickly made him feel relaxed and welcomed to the family. Apparently the men had teased him occasionally and for the first time, Lotan understood the British slang they used and the lack of malice in their jokes! For the first time, he had been able to laugh along with them, knowing their hazing simply meant they loved him.
               The entire family met up again for lunch after our pampering, and by the time we had finished our food and drinks, I felt like I knew a deeper, realer version of my fiancé. It was like we were truly one flesh now.

That night Lotan slid into bed beside me after kissing sleeping Joshua's head. I lowered my book and smiled at him.
'It feels nice to be back in our own bed, doesn't it?'
'Oui, yes.'
'Did you have a nice time this weekend? Did you enjoy it - honestly?'
               Lotan looked into my hopeful eyes and smiled freely.
'Yes! Yes, Olivia, I had a very, very nice time. I'm glad of this, er, weekend. I got to being with Joshua more, and your family is all very kind people. And good cooks.'
               I exhaled, relieved.
'Good, good! You look different, you know.'
'I do?'
'Yeah. Your haircut is really nice, but there's something else. Your eyes look more, I don't know, bright.'
'Ah.' Lotan nodded. 'This is good. Did you had good time, my love?'
'Hell yeah!' I laughed quietly. 'I went to a salon, Lotan! - For free! It was awesome! Feel my hair - isn't it soft? It looks all glossy and layered and ah!' I giggled when Lotan spontaneously shoved his face into my neck, breathing it in deeply. 'Hey, you. Listen,' I sat up a little straighter and faced him again, 'you remember how you slept really well when we were at the hotel?'
'...Yes.'
'Well, why do you think that happened? Did the drive and my noisy family tire you out, or, or do you think, maybe it was because you didn't have a piano around to play at night, instead of sleeping?'
               I bit my lip. Lotan frowned.
'What?'
'Well, at the hotel there wasn't a piano for you to play. So, maybe you weren't distracted. Could that be why you slept better?'
               He looked down, chewing the inside of his cheek. Then he looked up at me again and said,
'No, I don't think this, Olivia. I still heard music at the hotel, and sometimes I must to, er, write down, to make quieter. I think I was tired, only. I get tired sometimes, after a few weeks.'
'After a few weeks of what?' I asked. Lotan sighed.
'Not sleeping. And I am tired tonight. Can I put the lights off now?'
               I moved back from him a little and put my book away.
'Okay. But will you actually fall asleep, honey?'
               The slim man blinked slowly, sadly. He lowered his head.
'I hope.'
'Well I hope so too. Otherwise I'll be worried it is the piano's fault you don't sleep much.'
               He didn't seem happy to hear that, so I quickly tried to soothe his distaste by saying, 'Let's go away again, together. The wedding's coming up, you know, and we haven't talked about our honeymoon yet!'
'You er, try to see if I sleep better again, away from our home? Without piano?' he asked me suspiciously. I shook my head, but, well, it was a lie. Even so he relaxed and said, 'Good. Because, Olivia, I don't, er, want, to sleeping, on our honeymoon. I hope we are, er, er, busy, at nighttime.'
               He looked over into my eyes, licking his grinning lips. I giggled back, then switched my lamp off.
'I'd better sleep on our honeymoon.' I said as we nestled down together. 'It'll be my first night away from a crying baby! I'm going to enjoy the peace and quiet.'
               Lotan kissed my head and put his arms around me, but neither of us had become sleepy yet before he got up again.
               'Where are you going?' I asked quickly, frowning at the feeling of his warm body parting from mine. He tucked the duvet in around me and whispered,
'I, I think, I will play just for a little while, my love.'
'What? No, Lotan! Get back into bed with me!' I whined in a hushed voice, clinging onto his arm. 'Come on! You said you were tired a minute ago!'
'I am tired, but I'm not sleepish.' he replied, gently prying my hands off him. He kissed them and put them down on the bed. 'I'm sorry, Olivia. I come back soon.'
               Shocked at his audacity, I sat up and watched him leave the dark bedroom. His piano was singing before I could close my jaw again. If he hadn't been playing 'My Eternal Love' I probably would have banged on the floorboards and shouted through them, 'You're bloody obsessed!'