The Greatest Mind I Ever Knew

Chapter 23: You Deserve It All

'Do you love it, Olivia?' Lotan asked me two hours later, while spinning around happily and holding his arms up to the sky. 'Is beautiful, yes?'
               I gulped and looked up at the house before us. It certainly was beautiful, but half of its awe-factor was its sheer size. It towered over me like, well, a tower, which it had many of! There were multiple chimneys sticking out the top of the roof, and below those were long, wide, spotlessly clean windows - hundreds of them - which must have cast lots of natural light inside the house but gave the owners very little privacy at all. The bricks between those windows were pale, and the rooves were an orangey red, shining like fire against the blue of the sky. The path to the house itself was majestic: a long, gravel track with an expensive looking security system at the bottom which controlled the gates. Yes, it was such a fancy house it even had gates! 12 feet high, twisting metal gates, so black they could probably summon witches on Halloween. And on the left side of the house, past the fields, past the pond swimming with ducks, was the house's very own forest, bursting with greenery and life and echoing with birdsong.
               'Tell me you like.' Lotan said, approaching me with a sheepish, boyish smile. I swallowed again and looked down at our slumbering little Joshua, who'd managed to sleep through a rickety pram ride along the driveway and was now exhaling spit bubbles.
'Oh, look.' I said, pointing at his mouth, trying to change the subject. 'Isn't that sweet, honey?'
               But I've always been a terrible deceiver. Lotan just looked at me blankly as if to say, 'Do you really think you can distract me that easily, Olivia? We've spent four months with this baby - his spit bubbles aren't new to us!'
               All he said out loud was,
'Do you like this house, Olivia?'
               His voice was serious now. I glanced up at him, then at the mansion again, then I took a deep breath and pushed the pram onwards.
'The estate agent's waiting for us inside. Come on.'
               Lotan mumbled something under his breath in French and followed closely behind me.

Inside the house was perfect, unrestrained, stifling beauty.
               The front door was an arched piece of solid oak, with a funny little Victorian handle you had to clip down to make it open. When we figured it out, the door creaked in on itself to reveal an astonishing foyer, with vintage carpets which, paired with the long, velvet, pulled back curtains hanging by every window, filled the house with an authentic, 19th Century library sort of atmosphere. The stairs ran straight ahead and branched off into two directions, leading to each 'wing' of the house. The banisters were carved and smooth. I approached one and leant against it a little, staring up at the varnished staircase with an open mouth. How could our small little family ever live here? This was a wedding venue, not a home!
               Before long I felt Lotan's hand on my back. I closed my eyes.
'Lotan, I -'
'Look at the chandelier, Olivia. Is beautiful, no?'
'Y-Yes, it is.'
'Come and see the kitchen, please, before you choose yes or no.' he asked meekly, gesturing to his left where the estate agent was waiting patiently for us in a short, stone corridor. Before I'd agreed Lotan pressed the small of my back for me to move. Then he pushed the pram beside me, saying, 'The kitchen is like, is from, er, er, a, er, magazine! And there is many wood things in this house, my love, and, er, er, beams? Beams on the, er, ceilings. You say you like this, yes? I remember you say this to me, ages ago. And, I know is very big, Olivia, and I know you think is crazy for us to living here, but we can do very many things here! You can have a, a, a big art room, and there is nursery for Joshua, and a dining room for parties, and games night, and -'
'And what's there for you?' I asked. Lotan glanced at me and stiffened a little.
'...For me,' he said, speaking cautiously, 'there is maybe a music room. Maybe.'
               I looked up at the timid man while we walked, my eyes sternly saying, 'Do you really think you need more temptations to stay up at night working, Lotan? Are you serious!?'
               Before we reached the kitchen, or the estate agent, I stopped walking and said,
'Lotan, I, I don't want to live here. I'm sorry. I don't want to live here.'
'But before you said -'
'I don't care what I said before!' I burst, taking the pram from him and walking back towards the front door with it. 'This house is too big for me to clean, it'll be too expensive to heat in the winter and Joshua will turn into one of those spoilt children with a nanny and a maid and he'll forget who his mummy is -'
'This not right -'
'I just want a normal life.' I said, still walking away from him. But he quickly caught up with me and stopped in front of the pram. I sighed tiredly. 'Excuse me.'
'Wait, wait, wait.' he pleaded, putting his hands up to keep me halted. 'Look one thing, Olivia, please. Please, see one, er, er, thing, then we leave. Yes?'
               Again, Lotan nudged me to move before I'd agreed to; he grasped both my hands with his and yanked me around the pram, down an open, wide corridor on the other side of the foyer, towards another old, oak door.
               Without an introduction or hesitation he threw it open and said, 'Voila!'
               I froze beside the threshold, gazing. Before us was a huge ballroom - and I mean huge. It's windows were long, thin and high, leading my eyes up to the distant ceiling holding up a sparkling, giant chandelier, but the room itself was actually quite empty.
               'You dance in here, Olivia!' Lotan said to me excitedly. 'Forget music room, for me - this is silly, I don't need, because I can putting my piano right here, and I play for you while you dancing! Joshua can have a little baby place over there, with toys and the bouncy, er, er, er, ah, er, walk, thing, so he dances with you, and we can putting mirrors on this walls and a, er, er, stretching, er, bar... I make you a ballet studio for a ballet queen!'
               Lotan stepped back towards me, his brown eyes twinkling. He kissed my forehead and more quietly said, 'This is what I want of our family, Olivia. I want Joshua seeing his parents to be creative together, and making beauty together. And I want you to be happy, in a nice, big house so you are not, er, er, stuck. Or bored.' Lotan gently felt for my hands and picked them up. 'Is expensive, this house, I know, but is not a waste. I would give many more for you and Joshua. So, what you think of now, my love?'
               I slowly raised my eyes to Lotan's. So he wasn't being materialistic, or reckless in this decision. He'd really chosen this house for a reason: because he could see a future for his family here. He could see me being happy here, even if the idea of such a big change frightened me. And he truly wanted me to be happy, even after the disgusting way I'd treated him last night! But could we really live here? In such a vast, Beauty-And-The-Beast type manor? It all just seemed so excessive!
               While I debated the matter back and forth in my mind, Lotan slid his arms around my waist and hugged me. It was a spontaneous bit of affection that made my heart throb. He felt so nice: so smooth and warm and gentle: that I wanted our bodies to never part again. But he eventually let his embrace ease a little, took a deep breath and murmured, 'You choose now, my love. I,' he exhaled, 'I don't want ever to fighting with you again, of anything. So, if you say no, I say no, and if you say yes, to this house, I also say yes.'
               I stared ahead, over Lotan's shoulder, for ages. He kept his warm, soft hands around my back while I chewed the inside of my cheek. Eventually I had to give in. I had to admit to myself that, ultimately, this great man would never do anything to hurt our family, or my happiness. He had my best interests at heart, and for that I loved him with all of mine.
               So after a long while, I finally raised my arms to hug Lotan back. Pulling his cologne-scented lapel closer to me, I blinked a few times and whispered,
'You'd really give me all this, Lotan?'
'Yes, baby.'
'...Can we afford it?'
'Yes.' he murmured. 'I pay the, the, er, deposit, and the bank will giving us one month of er, er, mortgage, for a while, but we are independent after this!'
'But,' I sighed, 'what if you lose your job? What if the orchestra doesn't sell enough tickets? Or, or, what if you get hurt in some horrible accident so you can't work anymore, or you run out of ideas for songs? What then?'
               Lotan lifted his head a little, frowned, and said,
'Then, I am very sad, Olivia, and we move into smaller house again.'
               I looked up into his saddened brown eyes. Here he was, trying to give me the world on a silver platter, and yet all I could do was plant doubt and fear in his mind. Why was I so pessimistic?
               He seemed to sense that I was feeling guilty, because he slowly tightened his arms around me and added, 'But I love you always, my love, if we living here or in a, er, er, er, a tree! But as long as I can moving my hands, and thinking my head, I want to give you the best. You and Joshua deserve all. And, please, dear lady, trust me, I will giving you all.'
               Strengthened, I looked back up and exhaled gently. Lotan kept glancing over my face with nervous hope, which settled when I nodded at him. His shoulders suddenly slumped and he relaxed all over. 'This is yes, dear lady? Yes?'
'Yes. Yes, Lotan. Let's buy this ridiculous house! Let's dance all day in this big ballroom with Joshua. Let's eat together every morning and evening in the dining room. Let's fall asleep in a massive master bedroom with a four poster bed! Let's do it.'
'Yes!' the young man suddenly cheered, deafening me with his excitement. 'You are crazy, like me, Olivia! Ah, I love you very many much - I love you a million thousand, million, er, er, times more than anyone! Come here, dear -'
               He cut himself off by planting a passionate kiss on my giggling lips.