The Greatest Mind I Ever Knew

Chapter 19: Star Of The Show

'I am nervous, Olivia.' Lotan told me on the evening of his first ever orchestral performance.
               We were standing backstage, all dressed up, my black dress bulging over my baby bump of six months while Lotan's black tuxedo was absolutely spotless. For as long as I'd known him he'd always worn suits for work, but the only other time I'd seen him in a tuxedo as posh as this was when he took me to the masquerade ball. He'd looked like a million pounds then, and he looked like a million pounds now. His black suit was beautiful, freshly ironed, and scented with his cologne. His brown shoes were freshly polished - he'd refused to come to bed last night until they looked perfect, and even after that he barely slept for all the excitement! His curly hair was freshly trimmed but still long enough for me to twirl around my fingers, and a bit shorter on the sides and back, the way I liked it. His face looked lively and excited but, like he'd admitted, he was nervous.
'Oh, baby,' I said to him sweetly, 'don't be nervous! You have no reason to be!'
               Lotan swallowed. We could hear the seats of the audience filling up not far away. He'd been rehearsing this Rachmaninoff concerto endlessly for weeks, but now his confidence was faltering. He needed me. And when he looked as sexy as that, I needed him too...
               Blame my pregnancy hormones, blame my youthful lust, blame Lotan for dressing up like James Bond, but I was defenceless. I melted against my fiancé and pulled him towards me by his lapel. However I only managed to graze his lips with mine before he pulled away, and gently removed my hands from his suit.
'Oh.' I remembered. 'The suit.'
               I watched Lotan carefully flatten out his lapel, check it wasn't marked by anything, and sigh in relief. Then he looked at me.
'Sorry, my love. I, I will kiss you later, very many times, but, now, I must be tidy. I want to look the best for this night.'
               I nodded.
'Okay. I understand. You look incredible by the way, Lotan. And please don't get nervous onstage! You're so talented, and you know this song like the back of your hand! You'll play it perfectly. I know you will.'
               Lotan lowered his head and looked down into my eyes deeply, as if drawing strength from my green irises. I smiled a little, and he couldn't help but grin back.
'You will watching me, yes?' he checked for the third time that evening. I smiled widely.
'Yes, baby. I'll be listening to every note you play, I promise. I love you.'
'I love you too.' Lotan exhaled, finally kissing my lips. I kept my arms down so as not to move a hair on his head, or crease his long tailed blazer or waistcoat or tie or anything. He appreciated it.
               'Okay.' Lotan whispered afterwards, shaking out his shoulders. 'Is nearly time.' I swallowed shakily but hid it with a smile.
'I'll go and find my seat then. - And remember, honey, we're all here to support you. Dad will be next to me, and Leo and Mum and Auntie Susie and Uncle Andy, and my grandparents, and Andrea too! Just remember how hard you've worked for this. Remember how many hours you've spent practising, and how many years you've spent perfecting your talent. This is your chance to show the world what you can do! So show them, Lotan.'
               When I finished my pep talk, I saw that my fiancé was watching me with twinkling eyes, and a tranquil smile. I exhaled. Reaching out, I picked up both of Lotan's surprisingly steady hands, and put them on my baby bump. 'He's listening too.' I reminded him. He took a deep breath.
'A baby boy. I still can't believe!'
               I made a little happy noise and would have hugged Lotan tightly if he wasn't about to go onstage to perform for a world-famous orchestra in front of five thousand people!
               We'd only found out the sex of our baby at the most recent scan, last month, when we finally decided we couldn't stand not knowing anymore. Ever since then we'd been debating baby names and filling up our house with every toy and book and decoration a baby could possibly need, in blue.
'A boy!' I whispered, biting my lip. 'And he loves you so much already, my darling.'
               My fiancé seemed touched by that: a spec of salty water appeared in the corner of his left eye.
'How do you know he loves me, Olivia?' he asked, gently stroking my bump. 'He told you this?'
               I chuckled, squeezed his hands and said,
'No, baby, he didn't tell me. But he definitely loves you, because he's a part of me and every part of me loves you. And I'm so, so proud of you.'
               Lotan sniffed and kissed me again. I melted against his lips, but frowned when they broke away from mine and whispered,
'I am very many happy you are proud, Olivia. Nobody is ever proud of me before.'
               Sympathy stuck to the back of my throat. Surely Lotan's parents had been proud of him? How could anyone listen to their son play classical scores of the old masters from memory and not be impressed?
               Knowing I couldn't ask Lotan what he'd meant without upsetting him before his big show, I simply sighed and whispered back,
'You're a brilliant man, Lotan Dufont. You're going to do great things, and I'm already proud of you for every single one. Don't forget me when you're famous, alright?'
               He assured me that would never happen, but before I could tell him I was only teasing a security guard came around to clear the backstage area of visitors. So after a quick squeeze of Lotan's hand and a final word of encouragement, I went to find my seat.