Rubato - Scarlett Johansson

Part 4

Theo's POV

I did offer to help Scar with breakfast, but in all honesty, I can't cook for shit. Flo used to supply me with meals back when we were younger, then I lived off of takeout for a while before ultimately hiring a private chef for while I'm in New York, who keeps me stocked with food. With the amount of time I spend on tour or travelling for work it has never been a real issue that I couldn't cook. I rarely have access to a kitchen so why would I need to be able to cook? Plus it's not like I even like my own flat so cooking there was never something I wanted to do anyway. It honestly works out better this way, having all my meals prepared and delivered. I am an awful adult. If left to my own devices I regularly forget to drink or eat. Heck, I even forget to sleep sometimes, spending many nights in my studio instead of my bed. So at least with premade meals by a chef, I have everything ready to go and don't have to think about anything but heating it up like instructed to, which leads to me remembering to drink while I eat.

What I wasn't expecting when I offered to make brunch for us all, was for Scarlett to take me up on the offer. I was just trying to be a polite houseguest, I mean despite how I often come across I was raised well and with manners. I was expecting her to tell me she was fine and that I should keep playing with the kids, I mean that's what Flo and my family always say when I offer my help in the kitchen. I can do that, I'm great at leaving someone to cook while I mess around with either work or children and Scarlett's kids are no exception to this. 

I mean Rose is super fun to hang out with and is well on her way to replacing Flo as my bestie and Cosmo is such a chill baby that it's easy, honestly, the guy is so mellow sometimes it weirds me out. He has to be the most chill baby I have ever met. Scarlett was not supposed to agree when I offered to cook and that she should hang out with her kids. She was supposed to tell me not to be silly and to relax. But for some reason, she didn't do that. For some reason she replied with "that would be great, thank you so much" and now I am like a fish out of water, flapping around in her kitchen with absolutely no bloody clue what I am doing.

There is only one way to fix this mess. Picking up my phone, after spending close to an hour just picking things up and moving them around so that it sounds like I am doing something, while I try and figure out what the hell I could cook I cave. I phone the one person I know will save me, or at least I am hoping she will save me, she might just gloat and make fun of me. "I need you to help me, I am supposed to be cooking brunch right now and all I know how to make is cereal. I can't even make toast, you remember what happened last time, I haven't even looked at a toaster since" I whine as soon as they pick up, groaning when I hear not only her laugh but Kats stupid laugh too, they must be on their way. 

"Why are you cooking O? You can't cook for shit. I can still taste that thing you called soup in my nightmares, all you had to do was heat it up" Flo teases just making me groan more as I lean on the counter. The urge to bash my head in, growing by the second. "I was being polite, hey do you want me to cook? I thought that's what normal people offer to do, I never thought she would say yes. This is why I don't gamble. Really this is Scarlett's fault, not mine, curse my British manners" I grumble, pulling on my hair slightly as the idiots laugh at me. The sickos always did enjoy my pain.

"Are you two done? Because I have been in the kitchen for an hour and have nothing to show for it. I have just been making noise so it sounds like I'm cooking something. I need you to bring a bunch of french toast with you, I can manage to cut up some fruit and warm some syrup, I think. Just bring me french toast and I can pretend I made it. Do you think you can manage that? I have already ordered it from that place we like, you know the one Flo, all you have to do is pick it up I paid already and I tipped in advance" I ask, praying Flo agrees or I am stuffed. Could you imagine what I would do if Scarlett came in after over an hour and saw I had done nothing?