The Tour. | +18 | BWWM

𝄞 26 | It All Falls Apart - Part 2

A/n: This sex scene might have some light triggers. Sorry, but this is kinda  a huge story-build moment and had to be written like this.

We were at an impasse. My grandmother's wise words about the man at the crossroads and the prices that have to be paid echoed in my mind. Robert Johnson, one of the most talented musicians of his day took the sound. But he should have thought about the price that would have to be paid. All the choices to come and all the prices somehow became so vast. People think there's a devil at the crossroads. Maybe that devil is in ourselves and our own desires because everyone knows what Eshu is going to do. Offer the choices you just have to remember the saying is Eshu eats first. Hold for whatever sword of Damocles comes from their own choices.

A feeling deep down in my gut was that the price Asher paid was so high that it destroyed him. The nebulous star I always called him was a little too true without me knowing when I gave him the name. He was a nebula after all because what is a nebula? The blown-out pretty glittery guts of a dying star. I wasn't looking into the eyes of Asher, my Asher anymore. This void, without stars and moons, was Asher Kells the rockstar. Asher Kells the rockstar paid all the prices to be who he was, and it was costly indeed.

Just like Robert Johnson the blues man who traded his soul to Eshu, maybe Asher did the same. We spent so much time looking at each other. So many things we could have talked about and done. But for some reason, even while he watched me, my tears didn't stop. It was me yet again crying for Asher because he didn't seem to be able to cry for himself. That little boy at the top of the Hollywood sign looking down at the city. A city so interconnected with the man. My blurry vision put the two images on top of each other. With each blink it was a man, a boy, swapping back and forth until one blink it became only the man.

My heart couldn't stop its sinking because I knew it was going to be fucked up. Not a little fucked up but being around Tucker and Paulie, it was going to be big fucked up. The kind of fucked up you can't fix and you can only heal from. Getting to the healing is a battle in itself.

God, did I love this man. I loved this man foolish. I loved him without regard.

And...I didn't know what to do with us.

Asher was in boxer briefs, all those inky tats dripping down his body. Every now and then the light from the window would bend toward him. L.A. below him by the window with a vast expanse of sprawling city lights on. The smell of smokey whiskey and spice was a swirl between us. His broad well-muscled chest was rising and falling but he wasn't coming towards me.

My hand moves before my brain tells it to and I reach for him. Extending out to him so familiar from our days together. He watches me not taking my offer. It hurts... waiting for him to take it. It took everything I had to keep it out for him. The wait-and-see slowly destroyed my hope.

Asher stood up from the chair, his hardness bold in his tented boxer briefs. Then he pulls down his briefs, his cock bobs up so hard it was curving back but he was still blank. A brutal purple vein going up the side throbbing. Everything I so loved was gone from him and nothing was left but his striking beauty. It was as if he was a stranger to me and another fan in his bed for the night. Maybe like Mia's mother was for Dustin. Just another one in a line of many.

He went past my hand getting on the bed. No mischievous smiles, not a single feather-light touch. My sharp breath in was shocking. I couldn't believe it at all and I was on the edge of breaking. None of what I was accustomed to. His breathing was ragged and the fast sound in my ears excited me in the worst ways. It was as if he was pulling a reaction out of my body instead of how we dance together to the music normally. He didn't touch my tattoo once. If anything, he treated it as an albatross around my neck. When an albatross became a curse instead of a majestic bird to guide you home.