Burning Bridges

Chapter 06

Once I woke up again, it was actually day time. I don't know what this gang has planned for me, but I need a little bit of selfcare.

Despite my hesitation, I ended up wearing the black sweatshirt that Ember lended to me over my dark leather pants. There's just something about sweatshirts that's much more comforting than the crop tops that I wear.

Leaving my ebony-colored hair down, I quickly washed my face with the tap water in the bathroom. I heard Ember leave half an hour ago, so I was left on my own. Only this time, I couldn't leave the compound due to the tracker.

At least they have rooftops here. Leaving the building, I found a ladder that led to the top of the compound. It would be stupid of me to jump down from here and onto the street because I would break my legs in the process. Besides, it would be stupid of me to escape because my gang is counting on me to be a hostage here.

But that doesn't mean I can't go sky-watching. It's a personal hobby of mine that I never get to do with the gang life. Choosing to lay on one of the flat air ducts, I began to look up at the clouds, thoughts instantly filling my mind.

The cloudy sky felt like my mind, covered in thoughts. For such an impulsive person, I tend to overthink a lot. My hesitation has gotten a bit better when it comes to those quick moments in life where you almost die.

But when those things aren't happening, I'm stuck in my thoughts. It's like a never-ending cycle, mostly me thinking about my past or the trauma I've dealt with. Even heartless people like me find it hard to let go of the past. All of the mistakes I've made. All of the words I've heard. It's traumatizing.

Ember might've been right that it's okay to be scared, but I would never tell him that. It's much easier to pretend to be something that you're not.

If you try to be something you're not for long enough, you can be so deep into it that you forget who you really are. I would like to go back to the old me, but it's not like I can leave the gang. I've never talked to them about it before, but I've heard stories of people that tried leaving, ending up with bullets in their skulls.

I'll pass.

It's like I'm stuck in between my identities. The gang me and the old me. And trust me, neither of them are good people. I never was. Too many mistakes and hurting too many people. Maybe one day I will learn to take the right path, but that won't happen for a long time. Right now, I have to worry about survival. If it's me against them, I'm going to try to win.

There's always going to be people caught in the crossfire, but it's too late for me to help them. It's too late for me to fix my mistakes. I can only cover up my tracks now, and I'm pretty goddamn good at it.

The cracking of a skull tore me away from my nightmare. "Listen here, Bones, you will NEVER touch her like that again." I heard Ember say from down below. He held the other man that cuffed me yesterday into a death choke. I've never seen Ember that aggressive before, but that's what gang life does to you.

Sitting on the edge of the roof, I snooped in to hear their conversation. Only a few others were around to watch the scene. Bones may have been bloody, but he wasn't backing down from this fight, based on his smirk. "Or what? It's not like she's your girl or anything."

But Ember wasn't going to back down either. He was turning red, gripping Bones so hard that his knuckles turned white. "She isn't, but that doesn't make her property." Oh shit. He really went there. Bones grumbled something so low in return that I couldn't hear him.

"I get that you don't know her, but that doesn't give you the right. You hear me?!..." I wasn't able to get the rest of what Ember was saying because he was talking too deeply. I've never seen him look like such a predator. I now see why he's in the gang. But why is he much more gentle with me?

How can someone switch up like that so quickly? Granted, I haven't been with him long enough to know what he's like, but I don't know if I want to find out. There's a difference between being brave and doing something stupid.

I don't know what Ember would do to me if I discovered who he truly is. Let's be honest, it could get me killed, and I can't deal with that right now. I have orders to take care of. So I have to play it safe for now.

No matter how much I want to know what happens if I don't.