Burning Bridges

Chapter 14

After our training session, I found myself showering in the house. We had been practicing those different fighting techniques for a couple hours, so I hope Jaden learned something from it. It's not much, but maybe he will be more prepared to fight. Whenever that showdown happens I suppose.

It's going to be a shitshow, but I hope Jaden turns out alive. No, he has to be. Otherwise, I don't know what I will do with myself. It's honestly bizarre how quick I was to trust him. Well, to an extent. I've never had that sort of connection with anyone before, which is why it feels so foreign to me.

I just hope neither of us screw it up. I can't have the one thing I created in life destroyed like the rest of me. But since I don't know how much time I have before hell breaks loose, I need to make amends. To save the few things salvageable from the destruction that is my life. I have to, otherwise, I might go mentally insane. And I know just where to start.

As I left the building, I found the person outside that I needed to see. Bones. Instantly, he flinched back when I cleared my throat to get his attention. "Chill, I just need to talk with you."

"Last time that happened, I ended up with bruises."

"Because you insulted me, which brings me to why I wanted to speak with you today. I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I let my emotions get the best of me and hurt you. It was my fault, and I never wanted to cause drama with you."

"I-"

"You were right, I don't belong here. I don't have the right to go around and punch you. Hell, this isn't even my own territory. It was irrational of me."

"I...forgive you...I guess-"

"Perfect, I will talk to you later." He only nodded his head back in confusion as I scrambled away. I would have probably done the same, but I had to get out of there. Otherwise, I would cause another fight, but I'm here to make amends. Not cause more drama. No matter how annoyed I am at him.

As the sky turned darker, I felt more at peace. This could be my last night here. As I made it up to the rooftop, I let my thoughts fly with the stars. This could be my last day of peace. This could be my last chance at freedom.

I'll have to start taking orders from my leaders again. I won't have the chance to do what I want when I'm here. I'll be stuck again. It's ironic to think that because I'm technically stuck here due to the tracker. But I have never felt more free.

Maybe The Snakes really are a trap. I can't help but think what my life would be like without them, but to be honest, I probably would have been dead already. That's why this whole situation is problematic because my gang saved me. Is this how others feel? Do they realize what gangs do to you? They trap you in their web of lies by making you think you're safe and that you owe them. It's sickening.

Not gonna lie, running sounds like the best option right now. I could run away from my problems and leave this town behind. Sigh. That's not possible. I'll end up six feet under, and I have to be stronger than that. I have to finish this mission, then maybe I'll think of something.

I can't believe I have to leave the Crown Heights Gang once and for all. And to think, I always thought that they were the bad guys, but maybe I'm trusting the wrong people. It's difficult to make a decision here because where does my loyalty lie?

With the gang that gaslight me but also saved me? Or with the man I liked?

Did I like him? I can't remember the last time I felt like that, but he emits butterflies in me. As fucked up as it sounds. He makes me feel alive and like I could trust him. But it could never work out.

This is just some fucked up version of Romeo and Juliet but with guns and gang violence. It's honestly laughable to think that it would work out. Besides, there's no chance Jaden feels the same.

Sure, we flirt a bit, but it could just all be a game to him. He probably still views me as the enemy, and I can't blame him for that. It was never meant to be. That thought makes the butterflies in my stomach perish like the rest of my happiness.