Burning Bridges

Chapter 18

"You're the reason dad left us! You piece of shit!" my poor excuse of a mother screamed. I was soon able to tune out her voice and stare at the smudge on the wall. It was like second nature for me to do so.

I didn't need her yelling in my ear to understand that I was a loser. A selfish loser. That's all I ever was. I'm the reason dad left. I'm the reason we were living off of practically nothing. I'm the reason that our lives are a piece of shit. It's psychotic that she thinks yelling at me will change that.

I remember the little old me wanting to be a superhero someday because I thought I could save others. I thought it would be cool to fly and run fast. But it turns out, I'm the opposite. The villain to every story. My naive young soul thought I could take on the world, but I was wrong. So wrong.

I couldn't even save my parent's marriage. I wasn't capable of being a hero. I was a monster. My mother brought me back to my horrid reality as she got up right in my face. I still couldn't hear what she was saying, but I'm sure it was just insults. That's all she ever did to me.

As if she could tell I wasn't listening, the friction of her hand slapping my arm brought pain. It was overbearing, like I was burning up. It was the only thing I could feel anymore because my body felt like it was on fire. A scream emitted through me, but I couldn't hear it, only feel it.

I wanted her to stop it. I wanted to be done with this nightmare. Her disgusted face vanished out of my field of vision to the bright light of a living room.

Leather. That was the strongest scent of them all. If I focused closely on it, I wouldn't be able to hear myself screaming my lungs off or the burning sensation searing through my arm. Has that smell always been there? Maybe I was so wrapped up in my mind that I never noticed.

It was so captivating that I had to open my eyes to see where it was coming from. But as I opened them, I was met by the sea. That deep shade of blue that encaptured his eyes when he was portraying his emotions. It was like time stood still as all I could do was focus on him. I had to stop my screaming to hear what he was saying, but I still couldn't hear him.

I couldn't take my eyes off of him because this was just a dream. It had to be because I thought he left me. How could he not when I had betrayed him? But he was still here, and I was still dreaming. But since when do I have dreams?

It's like that question brought me back to reality. My lungs were filled again, and I could hear my breathing. A short series of ringing began and stopped instantly after I heard his voice.

"Violet." He has never said it that way before. It was like he poured all of his emotions into that single word. It made me want to cry.

"Jaden," I managed to squeak out, but it came out like a whisper. All of the pain I felt crashed down on my body in an instant, bringing me back to reality. I had to look away from him to focus on the burning in my arm.

It didn't look as bloody as I thought it would be, but rather, it was bandaged up like the other bullet wounds I'm used to. So why did it hurt so much? Because this wasn't just some ordinary bullet I've taken before. This one was a sacrifice. I was willing to give my life up for him. Yet I was still alive.

"You're alright, it's going to be okay," he whispered over and over again, but all I could focus on was the pain. It was consuming me from the inside out. If this was my punishment, I would fix all of my mistakes. But I don't get second chances. "Doctor!" he had screamed out this time, cursing to himself when it made me flinch. I was feeling too much at once. I never wanted to feel again.

But that firing pain was drowned out like the waves of an ocean. Looking up to see a doctor in my face, my eyes instantly widened at the large needle in his hand. But the pain was no more. I felt numb like I wanted to be.

"Do you feel better?" Jaden. He was still here, looking at me with concern. It sent that wave of guilt into my stomach again. But how can I feel guilt when I'm supposed to feel nothing? This was karma's way of getting back at me for all of the pain I have caused. I flinched instantly when he laid a hand on my other arm, no matter how gentle he was.

The misery in his eyes at my actions was no match to the burning sensation I felt minutes before. He tried to play it off like it was nothing, but I could see the pain in his eyes. "I'm so fucking sorry," I blurted out to him, feeling tears well up in my eyes.

"Shh, it's going to be okay. We can talk about this when you're ready," he answered back, sitting on the couch beside my laying body. He still felt like miles apart from me.

"C-can you sit closer," I managed to whisper out because I needed him next to me. Even if I didn't deserve it. But I was too tired to think about that right now.

"Of course," Jaden whispered back, gently putting my legs over his lap. He slowly caressed my legs with the calming feeling of his rugged hands on my black leggings. I snuggled into it because it relaxed me instantly. I melted into the hold of his touch and stared at him intently because I missed being able to do that. I had my eyes shut for so long.

We sat there quietly for a few minutes, mending that broken vow with nothing but our presence. No words had to be said for him to understand why I did what I did. He didn't have to respond back for me to understand his gratitude for saving his life. I did that. I saved someone like I always wanted to do. The younger version of me would've been proud.

The look on Jaden's face right now would make me take bullets over and over again if it meant he was safe. I just wonder if that attraction was still there because I screwed up big time. Maybe it was too late to save that, but I could worry about that another time.

I deserved a little bit of calmness in my life after all. Just sitting here with him holding my hand put my worries to ease. He was still with me after I had broken his trust. But I was going to make it up to him. Afterall, I don't just take bullets for anyone.

The crackling of a radio brought me out of a peaceful state. "Mr. Jones escaped!" a faint voice echoed on the radio of Jaden's jacket as he tried to cover it up with a cough. But I heard it loud and clear. I should have known that this endeavor wasn't going to end so easily.

Because I haven't died yet. And the villain always dies at the end of the story.