Total Eclipse of the Heart

If It's Wrong, Why Does It Feel So Right?

You don't know the power you have
Over me that got me so weak
No idea, from a simple touch
Could give me so much feelings inside

Days passing by
Still don't know why
You're in my mind
Swimming around in my head

Caught up in the touch of your lips
Don't wanna stop but our time is running
I wanna go I don't want to know
I'm so ashamed but I can't let go

So Wrong But So Right -- Afgan
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"Can a person grow another heart if his died?" out of nowhere BaiLuoYin asked his friends who were gathering at the pool side and basking under the sun.

Ashley, putting her sunny* on sighed, "From my own experience, someone can't grow another heart, and that's because no one's heart will truly die. As long as you continue living in this world, your heart will not die."

Bai LuoYin felt that she gazed at him quietly through the dark lenses. "Sometimes, you may think that your heart has turned into ashes, but in fact, it's just injured, and time will heal the wound. Your heart is not dead. It's still beating in your chest alive, strong and powerful."

Bai LuiYin unconsciously rubbed his chest. She was right. It was still strongly beating and not yet dead.

He tried not to look at Ryan who suddenly became extremely quiet.

And Ashley continued, as if she didn't realize Ryan's oddity, "I guess, we may know someone, but not their hearts."

" What? Died? Who died?" Darryn who was half asleep asked hazily and received water splashes from Felix.

"Wake up you bludger*." Everybody laughed seeing Darryn confused expression.

"Why are you suddenly ask that kind of question? It's not like you at all. " Felix turned his head to Bai LuoYin.

"Just asking." Bai LuoYin answered.

"Bau LuoYin... " Ryan finally open his mouth.

"Yeah?"

"We are all your friend here right? We rely on each other since the first time we got here. You know all of our secret, but to tell you the truth, we know almost nothing about you. You always show that you are a sunny and happy person, but we often see you in dazed, like you hold the weight of the world on your shoulders. Please trust us. You can share your burden with us."

Bai LuoYin looked at Ryan's eyes and lost. He looked down at his feet and after a while he looked up the sky. His eyes are red and misty like he was holding up his tears from falling.

With a heavy huff he finally said,
"I loved a guy. I don't think I was gay before but when I met him, everything changes. He was so good to me. When we first met, he was very annoying, but we finally get along well." Bai LuoYin smiled remembering the first days he and GuHai together.

His friends attentively listened to his story. Even Derryn who was half asleep now seems to be full alert. They all quietly listened to Bai LuoYin and has no intention to interrupt him.

Bai LuoYin inhaled and exhaled, after a while he continued,
"But turned out, he was my step brother." He chuckled bitterly.
"My mom married his dad. We didn't know about it because we were angry when they got married and didn't attend their wedding. We only learnt about it later."

He exhaled heavily again...
"But it didn't stop us. Our relationship even getting better than before. We were having the time of our lives. But maybe me and him were really not meant to be together. My ex girlfriend came back from abroad, she and my mom wanted us to get back together. He was jealous, we fought, and broke up. Then I came here to avoid him. I was just extremely disappointed."