When Our Lives Intertwined : Book 2

Chapter 1 Living life for the Two of us

DEVDUTT'S POV.

Do you know how it feels when you can see darkness all around you? A darkness which is around you and then slowly it starts to consume you. You don't fight it. You let that darkness consume you because you don't want to fight it, you have no strength, no motive to fight.

Everyday it was the same darkness. Radha used to say there's always a light at the end of the tunnel but when she is not by my side I don't see any light. She was there with me when I needed it the most and she made a special place for herself in my life, in my heart that it now feels empty without her.

It has been two days since I came back from Arunachal Pradesh. The place that took away my love. We all had a thought at sometime whether or not we should hold a prayer service for Radhi but before anyone could bring it up I straight away said no. Keeping a prayer service would mean accepting. Accepting this fate and I was not ready for it. I said they are still searching for her and till we get a solid answer we are not doing anything like that. That's one thing I won't ever be able to do. Everybody agreed as well because like me nobody was ready to say a final goodbye to Radha.

I was sitting in my room at Ajinkya bhai's house looking through her bag. Her clothes, her books, her diary and polaroid are still carefully wrapped in plastic so it does not get damaged. I smiled as I also found some of my hoodies in it as well. I smelt it and now it smelled like her. I wish I saw her in them again.

I heard a knock on my door and I looked up to see Radhika's mother, sister and her jiju standing by the door. I got up and wiped my tears as I asked "Aap sab yaha?" Her sister nodded and said "We are going back to the USA. We are here to say bye to everyone." I nodded as I could understand why they wanted to go back. They were practically living among strangers and now that the Police said it could be a dead case there was nothing left for us to do anymore. They would have been experiencing the same feeling of helplessness and believe me waiting and waiting for some news was emotionally exhausting. I can understand if they want to go back. I nodded and said "Have a safe journey."

Her mother came forward and said "I really wished things were different. I am sorry for everything and take care of yourself beta." She said and patted my shoulder. I couldn't say anything back and just nodded my head as I choked on my tears. They left the room and I took out my wallet to look at Radha and my last photo. I said looking at her "See even your family as approved of us. You and I can get engaged and married with your family beside you. It's perfect now. Aab to aa jao..."

I have pleaded a million times to Radha's photo to come back thinking somewhere, somehow she would listen to these pleas and come back. To come back to me because this life means nothing without her. I want to hug her, I want to kiss her, I want to lay in her lap and forget about all the problems in this world. I just want my jaan back.

I also came back to Banglore the next day. I took another 3 weeks of break from cricket. I wasn't even able to hold myself properly, how was I supposed to hold the bat? The day I came back to Bangalore I went to her apartment.

I entered the apartment and looked around. We both had decorated this house, making it ours. I never imagined there would be a day when it would be just me entering. I looked at all the picture frames, things, furniture, utensils, everything intact. These things didn't even know what had happened. I went towards the window and looked at the white curtains.

I remembered how when we were hanging it, I had accidentally entangled myself in it while Radhi laughed. She had then come towards and kissed lightly on my lips with the curtain still between us. I took a look at the curtains and it still had her lipstick marks. I kissed on the mark as a tear made its way.

I went to her bedroom and opened her wardrobe. I picked up one of her odhni and brought it to my nose. It still possessed her smoothing sandalwood scent. I clutched onto the odhni as I slipped to the floor and cried. I brought the odhni to my chest, hugging it, imagining her. How badly I wanted to be in her embrace right now. Whenever I used to be sad, she used to hug me tight and crease my hair to calm me down. She was my strength and peace.