Never Really Over

chapter 3

    Olivia's pov

A good few hours had passed. We had pizza and the boys all played FIFA whilst Sasha and I had camped out in the kitchen drinking wine. The boys had cracked open a few beers and let's just say we were all heading to a tipsy stage.

"Are you guys sure none of you have training tomorrow?" I asked as more wine got poured and more beers opened.

"Chill sis" jack laughed. "We don't have training till the start of the week"

Just to clarify it was indeed a Friday evening.

"I was just making sure" i shot back playfully. "Didn't want any of you guys to get in trouble with Southgate for being hungoverdd and unable to train"

"We would have been fine" Tammy smiled. "What about you two, don't you have work tomorrow?"

"Nope" Sasha and I answered at the same time causing us to laugh.

This wine was seriously doing things.

"So I guess we're staying here tonight?" Mason asked, as he took a sip of his beer.

"Yes you are" jack replied, high giving them all.

Ben was looking shifty, nervous even. Constantly jiggling his leg up and down.

"Can we talk now?" He asked, slowly getting up from the sofa before I had said yes or no.

"Yes, I suppose we can" I replied, making my way into the kitchen.

I took a seat at the kitchen island, setting my half empty glass of rosé in front of me.

Ben came in a second later, taking the seat across from me and setting his beer down.

"I don't know where to begin" he sighed as he looked across at me.

"Maybe the part on why you cheated"I replied coldly, not looking him in the eye.

Was I even sure I wanted to have this conversation? My head was saying "yes, have the conversation, see why he felt the need to cheat" but my heart was saying "no just leave it, does it even matter now?"

"First of all, I want to apologize"

I raised my eyebrow at him but stayed silent.

"And I know whatever I say now you may not believe it but I'll say it anyway" he ran his hand through his hair. " The whole cheating thing wasn't meant to happen. I was drunk and it was just a one time thing with Amber"

"I really hope your not lying to me Ben" I took a sip of my wine. " The papers say and show different. So if your lying I'd rather you stop now and tell me the whole truth or we end this conversation now!"

He picked up his beer and took a gulp.

"I'll start again. It wasn't a one time thing Amber"

I rolled my eyes, how did I already know?

"We spent most of the holiday together, going to the beach and for dinner"

"Is she just some random girl?" I asked, wanting but also not wanting to hear the answer.

"Yes" he nodded. " We slept together a few times because I was drunk nearly all of the holiday"

My heart sank. It wasn't just harmless flirting or a trip to the beach. Or even just a one night side, it was a fling I guess.

"I am so sorry" he said when he saw the look on my face. "I never meant for it to happen"

I bit back my tears. " You know what hurts the most Ben? It's the fact you couldn't tell me what you had done. I had to read it in the fucking newspaper!" I raised my voice slightly.

"I know, I know" he held his hands up." I didn't know the papers knew what had been happening. I thought I would have had the chance to tell you"

I scoffed. "Keep it a secret more like"

"I wouldn't"

I got up from the island.

"I think I've heard enough"

I went to walk out of the kitchen when Ben grabbed my wrist, pulling me to him.

I just wanted to wrap my arms around his neck and hug him like the old times. But I couldn't, my heart had been shattered once again.

"I still love you livvy" he smiled slightly, using my nickname. " I would love for us to try again it I understand if you wouldn't want to"

Now it was time for my head and heart to battle it out again.

Head; give him another chance
Heart; don't your heart needs a new love.

"I can't right now Ben" I sighed as I stared into the blue eyes of his I once loved. " I need time"

He nodded. "I understand and if you don't want to get back together. I hope I could still have you as a friend"

"I guess we'd have to be. can't seem to get away from you because of jack" i slightly smiled.

"I really am sorry" he repeated once again before I walked away from him.

Could I really give him another chance? Or should I just move on?

A/n hey guys another chapter! What do you think Liv should do? Go back with Ben or get herself a new love ? Please vote and comment if you liked. All feedback is appreciated