Never Really Over

chapter 7

Olivia's pov

It was the morning after the crazy events of last night; Ben and I arguing, Mason and I sharing a kiss and the many drinks everyone consumed.

We had all went to bed around 3am and it was now 9am.

I came downstairs, my head banging from all the rosé that was consumed. I desperately needed paracetamol and water and hoped Jack would have some in a cupboard in the kitchen.

I walked into the kitchen to find Ben sat at the island, a mug of coffee in front of him.

"Hey" he smiled slightly as I entered.

"Hey" I replied, taking a seat across from him.

"Do you want a coffee?"

I nodded. "Yeah,thanks"

He got up and began to make another coffee.

"Have you slept at all?" I asked the question to his back.

He was looking slightly dishevelled this morning.

"A little" he turned to face me as the kettle began to boil. "Did you?"

"Yeah. I slept okay. I think sleep was what I was needing after all that rosé wine"  I laughed a little.

He smiled slightly then turned back to making the coffee.

What is up with him? He wasn't acting like Ben this morning.

He placed the coffee in front of me then slid back into his seat.

"Thanks" I smiled.

"Your welcome" he smiled back.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah" he nodded. "Just tossed and turned when everyone went to bed"

I stared at him whilst I took a sip of coffee, hoping he would continue on.

He looked and me then sighed. "I was thinking about you"

"You better not start on the fact I kissed mas-" I started but he cut me off.

"No, it's not about that though it did cross my mind. I just couldn't stop thinking about how I fucked everything up with you"

I set my cup down. "Ben, no one said you had to cheat. You made it your choice"

"And what a stupid choice it was" he ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know why I did it when I knew deep down I had you at home"

I shrugged in response.

"The boys warned me not to get up on the holiday with all the girls around. And then Mason found out what I had done and threatened to tell you if i didn't" he continued.

"Mason was going to tell me?"

Ben nodded. "Yeah unless I told you but by then it was already too late because the papers reported on it and that's how you found out"

"It wasn't a nice way to find out either" I sighed.

"I know" Ben reached over for my hand. "I know I said it last night but I'll say it again. I really am sorry Liv"

"I know you are but like I said last night I need time"

"I know you do but I still love you and i think you do too"

I pulled my hand away from his.

I wasn't going to tell him that yes, I still loved him and missed him. But I wasn't ready; I need time to figure it all out. My head and heart are in a battle with one another.

My head is saying; yes take him back, you both still love each other.
My heart is saying; no don't take him back, how do you know he won't do it again.

"I just need time"

"I think you would be better off with mason" he blurted.

"What?" I asked shocked.

"Mason loves you Liv. And he wouldn't do what I did"

"Mason loves me as a friend Ben. You know that!"

He shrugged. "He still would treat you better"

I got up from the island. "And I've said I need time. That means from dating you or mason!"

I walked out of the kitchen leaving Ben there and into the living room until everyone else gets up.

As I sat in the living room I realised I never got the paracetamol but I wasn't going back in now for it.

I didn't know what to do.

Do I take Ben back or do I move on with someone new?

My head was a mess and I knew the only way I would possibly figure out what to do would be to talk it all out with sasha away from the boys and this house when she got up.

AN: another update guys. Hope you like it❤️