Dobby X Harry Styles

Dobby for President 🇺🇸

This country is falling the fuck apart. Dobby needed to interfere. He took his private jet, went to the White House, and shot Joe Biden. He then destroyed the whole government. Dobby was crowned president shortly after.

"Hi bitches. My first act as president of this shit country is to make today national Sluts Day. Every slut in the nation will be celebrated today. Thank you and goodbye." Dobby blew a kiss. Now he needed a vice president. He called up his bestie Paris Hilton.

"Hey bestie. Wanna #sliv with me?"

"Of course Dobby. Lets sliv together." Paris replied in her iconic valley gurl accent. He then shot Paris and quit his job as president because he could.

Because the last adventure he'd gone on went so poorly—songs about Jesus and vanilla, middle school aged Tiktok fanatics weren't his cup of tea—, Dobby decided to take a break from all the hectic craziness and get some plastic surgery to make him even hotter than before (which was going to be hard, as he was near perfect).

Bill Gates, Dobby's servant was required for his transformation from a 9.9 to a 10.0. When he wasn't licking the floor—and other surfaces—clean with his devilish tongue, he was operating plastic surgery on randos with an apparent lack of medical degree.

This was why he was perfect for the job (but mostly because it was free of charge)

"BILL!" Dobby shrieked, tossing his full head of blonde tresses to the side.

Bill looked up, alarmed. "Y-yes master?"

"I want you to lengthen my meatstick from 90 inches to 5 cubic miles. NOW!" Dobby demanded.

Although his pissy, lumpy length was already weighing down the helicopter, Bill really had no choice but to oblige. Unless, of course, he wanted to face the fiercest (and somehow also hottest) mafia on the planet: 5 Tione.

The transformation took 7 hours, and when it was done...

Dobby looked down with pride. The bags under Bill's eyes grew 5 times because of this horrific seven hours, but even he was pleased by his work.

Well he was until...

"We're going down! Mayday, mayday!" The pilot was freaking out.

Well that sucked for everyone else, but thankfully, Dobby was the Scarlet Witch. He used his powers that only worked when the plot needed it to, to bring him safely to the ground.

Unfortunately, Bill and the pilot died a tragic death in a huge explosion next to Dobby.

Oh well.

Where did Dobby land, you may be asking. Well, it was unlike anything he'd seen before. It was a gorgeous beach with a huge house overlooking it.

"hEY BITCH!!" An unpleasant, nasal voice screamed in his ear. He swiveled around and scoffed aloud, as he was way hotter than that nasty gothic disease. "My name is Lottie. I'm emo and a feminist, and use it as an excuse to be a bitch. WELCOME TO LOVE ISLAND!"