The Captain's Armband

1. The introduction

I just got back from training with my club Ajax. My dad is waiting for me with a cup of tea, he always tries his best to be home from work when I get back from training. We chat a bit about training when the phone rings, it's a FaceTime call from my aunt Julie from England.

"Danique honey, how have you been?"

I talk with my aunt for about 20 minutes. I haven't seen her as much because of covid. She is my dad's sister and she doesn't have any kids, she always considered me as her 'bonus child'. She means the world to me and I can't wait to see her again.

I live with my dad in a small town near Amsterdam, I was born in England and we moved to The Netherlands, when I was 3 years old. I have 2 nationalities. I have played for Ajax Woman for 6 years now, having a blast. I really enjoy the atmosphere in this team. I used to play for Netherlands U20 but haven't played an official match for the senior team yet.

After the training I just had, I'm really tired, I take a quick shower before heading to bed. I just re-play training in my head. I'm always overthinking, especially when it comes to football. Thinking about ways to improve myself, rethinking about situations on the pitch, although I'm quite happy with my performance lately, I can really see all my training and extra work is starting to pay off.

The next morning, I wake up because I hear my phone ringing. I pick up the phone with a sleepy voice;
"Hello?"
"Good morning Danique Lewis." I recognize her voice immediately, its Sarina Wiegman! She just got a job with the England Lionesses.
She explains to me how Nikita Parris is injured and she needs a substitute for at least 4 world cup qualifiers.
"I already followed you when you played for the Dutch Lionesses u20 and I've always been intrigued by your play style and technique, I want to give you the chance to prove and improve yourself by playing with this incredible team."

Because I haven't played an official match for the senior Dutch Lionesses and I have 2 nationalities, I can still choose to play for either countries.

"Thank you, Sarina, thank you so much for believing in me!".
I can't believe this is true, I pinch myself to see if I'm really awake. I ran downstairs to tell the news to my dad, he can't hide his emotions of joy as he hugs me tight.

The world cup qualifier is on the 17th September and they expect me on St. George's Park the day after tomorrow September 11th, they want to bond and practice before the qualifiers starts and of course Sarina want's some time with the squad as well. I'm relieved I have a few extra days with the team, this gives me some time to get comfortable around them, I tend to be shy and even a bit awkward around new people, this is my only shot so I have to make it count.

I go to England the next day so I can stay the night with my aunt, catch up for a bit. My aunt means the world to me, don't get me wrong, my dad is amazing and he is really trying his best to make it work with just the two of us but with my aunt I can talk about anything, literally anything, she was the first to know I am attracted to girls, I told her before I told my dad or anyone else. She is a very understanding; honest woman and she would never judge anyone, always lending a helping hand.

Today is the day. We are in the car on our way to St. George's Park, I have restless legs because I'm so nervous. How would the girls react if they see me? I mean, most of them wouldn't even know me since the woman league in the Netherlands is not as well known.
What if they think I'm not good enough? What if they think I'm a joke?
My aunt snaps me out of my own thoughts.
"Honey, stop overthinking. You will be just fine. I know, and you know, how hard you've worked to get here. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise, you deserve to be here."
"Here? Wait, what? Are we there already?"
"Is that all you heard?" My aunt laughs

"No sorry, yes, I know, it's just the nerves taking over"
"Take a few very deep breaths Dani and remember, no matter what happens, I'm very proud of you." She gives me a kiss and walks towards the back of the car and opens the trunk. I get my bag and give my aunt a hug before I walk towards the entrance. Here we go.