The Captain's Armband

21. Arriving home

I'm walking to the parking lot, I already see my aunt Julie waving at me. The closer I get to her the more I feel like crying. I try and smile but Julie sees something is up and she holds me without saying anything. This is why I love her so much, she always knows what to do or say. I take a deep breath.
"Baby girl, are you okay?" She has a worried look on her face.
"Let's just get in the car."
She opens the trunk and puts my bag in the back. I walk to the passenger side and take a seat. I look outside the window, I think Leah already left because I haven't seen her since we said goodbye.
My aunt will drive us back to her home, my flight isn't till later this day so we have some time to spend together. "You want to tell me what's going on?" She says as we leave St. Georges Park.
I start explaining everything about Leah to her, from the beginning till the moment we said goodbye. From the cocktail party where we watched the falling stars, to the jacuzzi where we had our first kiss to the moment she distant herself from me to the moment we said goodbye. I even told her about the fact that we made love without touching each other after my debut game. Julie lets me talk without interrupting me, she lets me finish every sentence without responding, she truly listens.
"And then she left without looking back." I say with tears in my eyes.
"That's quite the story Dani. This all happened in the few weeks, all these emotions and feelings, I can understand you feel overwhelmed."
"It's different from the normal world, we spend 24/7 together."
"I know, I wasn't judging. I can understand you feel safe in the bubble you two created and now that bubble has burst you feel insecure and scared. And now you move back home and she will move back with her ex."
"Do you think I'm overreacting?"
She starts to smile. "Julie, this isn't funny."
"It is a little, but no, I don't think you overreacted, this is how it truly feels for you."
"What do you mean?"
"You have abandonment issues and I think that's what's going on."
"Let me explain." She says before I can answer. "Monique left you with abandonment issues, you know that."
Why would she bring up my mom right now? We don't talk about her much.
"I know."
"You still don't get what I'm trying to say?
"No, I don't."
"Dani. You're scared you will lose her, you are in love with this girl and it has been a long time since I've seen you like this."
"She wasn't honest with me."
"She didn't lie to you either."
"Are you picking her side?"
"No. I'm not picking a side, I'm trying to put things into perspective."
I don't say anything. I let her words sink in.
"Let me be clear. Yes, she hurt you and yes she should have told you, but, I do think she is in love with you and maybe it's hard on her too, falling for someone new can be real scary."
"You really think so?"
She laughs. "Yes I do."
"It feels good to finally be able to talk to someone about this." I say while I sigh with relieve.
"Yes, I can imagine. You haven't told anyone on camp?"
"No. Well, Keira knows. She almost caught us a few times."
"Keira Walsh?"
"Yes. She is one of Leah's closest friends."
"She seems like a nice girl."
"She really is."
"Maybe it's a good thing you and Leah don't see each other for a while, now you both have the time to think about it all."
"But what if she will come to the realisation she isn't ready? Or this is just a fling?"
"Do you think this is just a fling?"
"No."
"Don't worry so much Dani. Use this time to think about what you want."
I smile at her. I feel so conflicted. I miss Leah already but I feel hurt at the same time. Maybe Julie is right, maybe this has got more to do with my mom than I would like to admit.

We arrive at Julie's house. I get out of the car. "Should I leave my bag in the trunk?"
She looks at her watch. "Yes, we should go right after lunch, don't want you to be late."
We get inside and my aunt hands me a gift. "This is for you."
It feels like a picture frame. I quickly open it and I see I was right. I turn the frame and see a photo of me and Julie at the stadium, on my debut. "Wow, lovely picture! Thank you so much." I give my aunt a hug.
"This is a night you should never forget and I'm so happy I got to share it with you."
"I'm very happy you were there."
"Now take a seat, I'll make us lunch."
"I can help you."
"No, take a seat. It's fine." She says as she walks into the kitchen.
I take a seat on the couch and stare outside the window. All I can think about is Leah. I'm wondering if she is home already and if she is thinking about me too.