By Chance

44 - Geneveive

I opened my eyes, groaning. Sharp pains shot through the center of my head the second I gained consciousness. Yeah, this sure makes me want to get up more, I thought to myself, scooting up so I was in a sitting position. I grabbed my phone off the nightstand, feeling that it wasn't there. I turned to look, seeing the now empty spot that it was always in. I sighed, realizing that I would have to go downstairs. As soon as I saw it wasn't up here, I knew exactly where it was: on the coffee table in the basement. I had been so distracted at the time that I had completely forgotten it when I ran upstairs.

I slowly moved my legs over the side of the bed, knowing I was headed straight for the medicine cabinet for some ibuprofen before anything else. As I got up, I heard lots of noise coming from downstairs. The Hollands were never this rowdy in the morning, I thought, going over to the door. I could already picture Nikki sipping tea with a book in her hands at her normal spot in the living room. I didn't think a scene could get more British. I opened the door, finding the voices not as muffled as when they were behind it. They were yelling.

I quietly opened my door so as not to make a single sound. I was thankful they were new French doors and not old, wooden creaky ones. As Nikki had said when I asked her one time about some things I noticed were missing one time while I was here, "wood has no place in this house". Memories flooded my head of me at five years old, sneaking around so no one would hear. I guess I was becoming good at it. Too good.

"-GREATER THAN YOUR INABILITY TO MAKE A WOMAN ORGASM ON THE FIRST TRY, YOU PRICK!"

Starting off on a great foot, I thought embarrassedly as I quickly paced down the hall, stopping when I got to a crevice that gave me a good view while still being hidden if they looked at the top of the stairs. Still cringing at what Sam yelled for the entire house to hear, I crouched down and tuned my ears fully to the conversation.

"I'm her boyfriend, soon-to-be fiancé, hopefully. Shouldn't I be the one to know about something super serious having to do with her family? Not you, my twin?" Harry asked questioningly in a tone that said he was tired of shouting. Then it hit me.

They were talking about last night. About an hour after I had run up crying, I heard a knock on my door. It had been Sam, asking how I was doing. He ended up staying for two hours and I don't think there was one second that wasn't filled with talking. I told him everything I had been holding in about my dad and the feelings I had after sex and, confirming my earlier theory, he confessed he already knew that part before Harry and I's screaming match that night. It felt so great to talk to Sam. Even though I loved Harry more than anything else in the world, there were some things I still felt I couldn't tell him. I didn't know why. I think it was just my fear and insecurities telling me I couldn't; they were stronger voices than I had ever realized. I knew it would fade over time when we were farther into our relationship, but part of me still felt like I was betraying him when I told Sam. I figured I should tell him before I tell the girls since he seemed really hurt that his twin found out beforehand. I couldn't even imagine how he'd feel if he heard that two girls I've known for about half the time I've known him knew everything about an issue that was currently causing such turmoil in our lives. But, at the same time, I wasn't sure how much Sam had told him beforehand. I figured if he had told him anything it was because he thought he already knew, which hurt more. Not because of anything Sam did, but because he assumed I'd tell something as big as this to someone as important as my boyfriend. The love of my life.

"I don't know, Harry. You might be her boyfriend, but I think I'm more her friend."

I hated to admit it, but Sam was partially true. It was always going to be easier telling the boyfriend's brother what was going on rather than the boyfriend himself. That, of course, wasn't the case every time, but for this it definitely was.

"That's not true. Genevieve and I tell each other everything."

There it was again. The guilt.

"Obviously not."

More guilt.

"Now, Harry, I don't want to be another name on your hit list, okay? You already got Genevieve, Paddy, Mum, you don't need me, too. Just focus on making things right with the first person on it, okay?"

That wasn't true. He didn't have me on his list. I wasn't even mad anymore. I wanted to make this right.

"That's what everyone's saying."

"And they'd be right. Just give her some time. I think she's going to go out with the other girls this afternoon to get some insight, so, after that, maybe check in with her. And most importantly..."

Sam lowered his voice to a hush, making me have to strain to hear him.

"You have to get this resolved before you propose. If you propose to make everything bad go away, it'll go away for the moment and you'll be happy, but that happiness won't matter when it comes back bigger and stronger later on. Don't think you're above it happening, you're not that stupid. It's better to confront the issue now rather than later when it's going to be worse to recover from."

My mouth dropped and I gasped, covering my mouth in hopes of not being heard even though the sound had already entered the air. I couldn't think. I was listening until I heard the word "propose". My ears didn't hear the rest.

Is he doing this soon? Is he doing this while I'm here? How did I not see this coming? My mind raced with questions unanswered. I tried to listen to the conversation for more information, but my head wouldn't shut up long enough for me to listen to more than a word or two. By the time I gathered myself they were done talking and Sam was headed in my direction. I scrambled to my feet, getting the wind knocked back into me as I noiselessly raced back to the guest room.

I needed April, Ashley, and Charlotte stat.

In the meantime, I called Jenna and told her everything that was going on. I hadn't talked to her since yesterday when I told her Harry and I finally had sex, which was a wild surprise to her, let me tell you. For a second I thought she was freaking out more than me, then I realized how insane that sounded and took it back. I told her everything as I paced the guest room floor. The fight, Sam, the proposal, and everything in between. I think she was at a loss for words because I hardly had to answer the burning questions that she always had whenever I'd tell her big news.

"So you think he's going to do it today?" she asked after I was finished, anxiousness flooding her voice as much as it was mine. I laughed nervously.

"I don't know...it didn't sound like it. I'm not sure when-"

Then I stopped, a vague piece of a memory coming back into my mind. As I thought about it, more flooded my head and I connected the dots from 5:30 yesterday.

  Harry startled me as he began to speak, dragging me out of my thoughts.

 "Hey, would you wanna go get dinner Saturday? Just the two of us?"

 "Yeah, sure," I answered distantly, still unsure what to feel or think. I could tell this upset him, but I didn't jump to tell him I was fine.

I gasped as the realization crashed into me like a truck, causing Jenna to do the same.

"WHAT DUDE WHAT?!" she asked frantically.

"He's going to do it tomorrow," I told her in disbelief, my tone distant. "He asked me yesterday if I wanted to get dinner with him tomorrow. Just the two of us."

My head was caught up in a whirlwind. Things I had never been concerned about before raced through my mind, breaking its speedometer. The stunning realization hit me like a ton of bricks. I could've said it out loud all I wanted, but it didn't become real until just now. I didn't even hear Jenna when she pounded me with questions.

"OH MY GOSH- HE'S GOING TO PROPOSE TO ME TOMORROW."