Trapped Together (Complete)

~ Chapter 16 - 6:07pm ~

Rachel stared at him as she sucked in a breath. That was not fucking fair. The asshole did not have the right to do that to her when she just came to the conclusion that she needed to keep her distance from him. She finally looked away after a few moments and shook her head.

"What?" he asked, frowning. She stared at the flames for another moment before glancing back at him.

"You can't say that Jake."

"Why, Rachel? You asked and I told myself I wasn't going to lie in this game." She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Did you think that wouldn't have been the answer?" She thought about that question and wanted to scream. She knew if that he had said anything else, she would have been hurting. However, knowing he felt that was amazing, she just didn't know how to take it or what to make of it, not given that she had told herself to walk away.

"I don't know what I thought, Jake." She finally tore her eyes away from the golds and reds of the flames and looked at him. "I didn't know what I was expecting either. But I know what I told myself in that room when I was changing and comments like that don't help me none." She ran her hands over her face before pushing them into her hair. Deep down, she wanted to scream, but she wasn't sure if it was him or if it was at herself.

"What did you tell yourself, Rachel?" He had set the cards aside and looked at her. His gaze was too intense to break away, but God did she want to. And she didn't what to answer that question, but she knew him, he would poke until he got the answer he wanted.

"That it would be better to let this thing stop now than to keep pushing it on, Jake." With that, she stood up. "You and I both know there's a lot at stake if this goes on, whatever this is. We can't do secrets, and I don't think we'd want to anyway. So, though it kills me, we can't talk about things like that." She walked away and into the kitchen, resting her hands on the counter. She needed to breathe and recoup after that. Jake had to understand that whatever this was between them couldn't go on. It sucked that there were feelings there and she'd love to see where they went, but really, not at the cost of her brother being pissed or a friendship is lost.

And she had no doubt that Jay would be pissed and that he would cut things off with Jake. It didn't take a genius to figure out that something was asked, and that Jake agreed to it. Sure, back then he might not have known the cost. In fact, he probably would have seen it as a blessing because he wouldn't have wanted to see her in that light. She could get that and understand it. And now, well now if he wanted something, it would be biting him in the ass. And that's a huge IF because she wasn't for sure about his feelings, only what she could assume.

Rachel groaned as she turned around and yanked the refrigerator door open, grabbing a wine cooler. She'd love a shot right now, but liquor wasn't something her parents kept in the cabin, and she thought she'd be fine with the wine coolers. Yeah, she should have trusted her gut on that one and grabbed a bottle at the store. With a sigh, she sat the half-empty bottle down, her gaze locked outside. Not that she was seeing much, but the swirling snow seemed to be in perfect harmony with her swirling thoughts.

"Can I have one of those?"

"While you are here, you're welcome to have anything you want," she told him, waving her hand at the refrigerator. She didn't mean to make those words sound a certain way but as soon as he chuckled, she rolled her eyes and turned to glare at him. "Really?"

"Yeah," he said as he opened the door and grabbed a bottle. "Do you realize, I think you and I have been tiptoeing around this God damn issue for years?" He twisted the cap and tossed it behind her, but she didn't move. Actually, she couldn't; her only reaction was to stare at him. She watched as he took a long pull on the bottle and waited for him to stop before lifting a brow. "What?"

"This isn't wise, Jake," she told him, waving her hand between the two of them. "Don't you see that?"

"I sure fucking do, Rachel! Don't you think I tell myself that? Fuck, don't you think I told myself that? The same conversation you had with yourself was the same one I had with me!" She swallowed hard at that. She wasn't sure what she was thinking but hearing that sure shocked the hell out of her.

"So, why are you pushing it?" she questioned. She needed to know; she really did.

"Because I can't seem to fucking stop!" Again, she was stunned with no comeback to add to that. What could she say? The truth was, nothing, but she couldn't seem to stop any more than he could. No little pep-talk, no convincing, nothing was stopping them. They were still pushing issues and boundaries they had no right to be doing.

Rachel turned around and rubbed her forehead before she picked up her bottle and downed the rest of her drink. It sure as hell wasn't stronger now to kill the emotions rising up. Fuck, she was almost thinking it was helping her to be brave. She turned back around and stared at him. He caught the look as he raised the bottle to finish it as well and rose a brow at her, giving her the look of 'what'.

"You wouldn't betray your best friend?" Jake finished his drink and tossed the bottle in the trash before stepping in front of her and resting his arms on either side of the counter, effectively caging her in.

"Let's say I wouldn't want to betray Jay, Rachel. I hate that I have. I hate..." but he stopped, and she wanted to reach in and pull the words out. Again, he didn't have to really say because she knew, and that caused mixed feelings in her.

"You hate what?" He swallowed hard and she looked in his eyes, they were bouncing around with emotion but he shook his head and started to draw back. Without thinking, her hands shot out and landed on his waist. "You hate what?"

"I won't say, Rachel. Look, if you're asking that I know I lied to him, yeah I know. If you're asking if I regret it, then I'm going to tell you no. Nothing about either time with you do I regret. I know it wasn't smart, I know that Jay would be so pissed at me, at us, but really, when I'm with you, I don't care. Is that smart? I'm not sure. But it's my feelings and I don't like denying those if I can. So, who do I betray? My best friend or my true self?" She opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. "Yes, it's a hell of a spot to be in, but you aren't any better."

"He's my brother!"

"I know, Rachel. And that's the problem. We wouldn't be in such a mess if you were related to anyone else. Then again, I highly doubt that you and I would even be talking if you were. The fact that you hung around your brother so much, even though it annoyed the fuck out of me, is what kept me knowing about you." She licked her lips and had to agree. Sure, she knew about Jake throughout school; he was one of the hottest guys, how the hell could she not? But she probably would have been a string like all the others; a puppy that followed him around.

She had lost count, when she was younger, how many times she would spy on her brother and his best friend. And yes, she made it a point of budding into their shit a lot because she liked being close to Jake, she liked knowing things those other girls didn't. Of course, that did backfire on her quite a bit, and Jake would often tell her to get the hell away, that it wasn't cool that Jay's little sister always followed them around. She also quickly learned that crap like that got under his skin and when she wanted to piss him off, she would do just that. Jay would only laugh and explain why she did it, but Jake didn't care, he would still get pissed off at her.

"It's what kept me knowing about you too."

"You wanted to know about me?" Jake asked, not moving anymore.

"I shouldn't have wanted to, but yeah, I did. Come on, did you think all of those times I stayed around you was just to annoy you two? It became a game for me to do it. And I got noticed by you." He wanted to say something, she could see, and it was great that she got him on that one.

"What other confessions do you have Rachel?"

"Oh, there's a lot there Jake but I'm not going to spill everything now." He took a deep breath and reached his hand up to play with her ponytail before letting it fall back to cage her in again. "What do you have to confess to?"

"I want to kiss you, Rachel, and damn everything else thereafter. I want to feel your lips against mine and your hands on me." She swallowed and mentally cried but she didn't show him that.

"Why is that so bad, Jake?"